


Kill Streak || Killua Zoldyck

by Haclim_1



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst and Humor, Backstory, Brutal Murder, Character Death, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Fanfiction, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Love, Major Character Injury, Major Original Character(s), Multi, Murder, Original Character(s), Romantic Comedy, Romantic Soulmates, Sad Ending, Soulmates, Young Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:20:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28150773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haclim_1/pseuds/Haclim_1
Summary: [Soulmate AU][hxh fanfiction]~a chance to have power, immortality, and invincibility, all at the cost of a soulmate's life~A series of intertwined fates have been Kikuko's only drawback. With decades of cultivated senses and a lust for blood, killing yet another destined lover just seems to be another tedious chore to complete, but after encountering a rather provoking assassin, her plans may prove to be more difficult than expected.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight & Killua Zoldyck, Illumi Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Killua Zoldyck/Original Character(s), Killua Zoldyck/Reader, Original Female Character/Original Female Character
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. 00

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**A/N:** Hullo, I'm back with another fanfic. This story is inspired by this soulmate AU that I saw in which people age until 18 and stop until they meet their soulmate so they can grow old together. However, I'm changing it to 10 years old, and for a twist, the main character kills her soulmates and reincarnations in order to reign eternal. I love my angst so this only felt natural. This is the first soulmate story I'll be writing so hope it satisfies you! This plot won't take place during any certain time or arc in the story. I'll just be using the events as guidelines I guess, but overall, it'll just be my story. This story can also be found on Quotev :)

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters of Hunter X Hunter or the anime. All rights go to the creators and Yoshihiro Togashi. I only own my own characters and the plot of this story.

Warning: This story obviously will be taking on dark topics, such as murder, gore, depression, and so forth. Don't proceed if you are triggered by these. Thank you!

Toodles!

* * *

**LOVE.**

A rather peculiar thing, isn't it? The very bare essence of life as it is, yet it can be the very thing that destroys our humanity. The raw emotion had scarcely been on her radar as a child. Love as it was happened to be the biggest mystery to her for as long as she could remember.

**SOULMATES.**

It was an absurd ordeal. Who in their small, dimwitted brain decided that such a fate be placed on someone? Who had figured that cursing someone with another that was destined to show such a horrid, raw emotion would be a good idea? For as far as Kikuko could see, the whole system was a burden.

**REBIRTH.**

Life simply was a game, she had realized. Those who had the misfortune of a predetermined fate were subject to such fickle and simple futures. It wasn't like their end was permanent, as it had been proven to her countless times. Rather, it was an endless pattern of renewal and an irritating responsibility of continuing the cycle.

**DEATH.**

It was an amusing state of consciousness. Feared for millennia yet it was always waiting at everyone's doorstep. Now, Kikuko had yet to worry about such a dreadful idea. She had been avoiding it for decades because if she were to meet her demise, the cycle would end. Unless her soulmate were to stop her heartbeat first, but that possibility had yet to cross her mind. None of her past fates had even contended in the same league, and the mere thought of it was impossible.

**GROWTH.**

Watching those around her slowly whisk away to prunes on their death beds, reduced to nothing but frail skin and bone. It was pathetic. Only she was clever and cunning enough to have made it out this far by only aging four years over the past century or so. She was unstoppable, and no worthless soulmate was going to get in the way of her plan that brought comfort and pride to her twisted way of life.

**YET SOMETHING ABOUT HIM MAKES HER DRAW BACK HER BLADE.**


	2. 01

She was ten years old when she met her first soulmate, as it should be for all who had been set with that fate. At the time, however, the concept of 'soulmates' wasn't a rare phenomenon. If you were to walk across the street from your house, there was bound to be another couple destined to be together. Kikuko could still vividly remember the lovely elder soulmates living down the cul-de-sac with their leafy vegetable garden and warm cookies. Often when she would walk back home from school, they'd give a friendly wave and invite her to play with their beefy, old dog. That was just about the only good memory she had.

Thinking back on it, her kindred spirit was a rather useless boy. Of course, she had never gotten around to actually know him, but he was possibly the easiest to kill by far. Too petrified to even defend himself like a pathetic slug under the glare of a magnifying glass. Kikuko honestly was glad she had the decent judgment to kill him before she could waste any years growing old with that moron. 

The concept of soulmates was a mysterious aspect of life that nobody seemed to question. Although the regularity had gradually decayed throughout the years, it still had just as much impact on those who bore the 'blessing.' 

At the mere age of ten, those with the souls that were destined to intertwine would take a stunt in their growth. Years could go by while they remain in their prepubescent form, waiting unsurely when they would meet eyes with their kindred spirit. Some who weren't so lucky would wander decades before coming across their fated lover. At that moment when the lost souls are reunited, their inner clock would continue to tick and they would live their lives in harmony and love, growing old together, starting a family, and finally dying hand in hand in their grave. For most people, such romances were natural and expected. It was a beautiful anomaly, they said. You should be happy you're destined for love, they said.

Puny-brained bastards, that's what they were. They had the tiniest shred of understanding how much potential the use of their fated had. And just like that, Kikuko had changed her burden to a gift. 

Roughly ten years or so in between each soulmate, she liked to plan how she wanted to see their stone stiff expressions when she was through with them. She knew she was bound to meet her next fated near the time and age she had killed the previous, which was the same age as her. That was how it always went. The pattern, the cycle, all in the palm of her capable hands. It was like a suspenseful game of chess: plotting a scheme to trap the king in a terrible predicament. 

Kikuko never really had any qualms with tracing a throat with a blade or pressing a pillow a little too hard over someone’s sleeping form. They were quick, silent deaths that she had given to some of her more favorable fated. Others weren’t so lucky. 

One thing that she couldn’t fathom, however, was the thought of growing frail and vulnerable for someone the universe chose. How preposterous? How ridiculous did that sound? To place your fate in the hands of some ‘celestial’ god? To dilly-dally and accept what was given just to please the comfort in one's mind? Kikuko couldn’t condone to such a simple and pathetic life, filling in the roles that were set before she was even born. She was going to choose her path. She was going to smite the ludicrous soulmate system out of her life. She was going to outdo her upbringer, and then perhaps after she had killed thousands of her useless soulmates, it would realize it had made a mistake from the start. 

All of it had been meticulously planned in her mind. She had known how to handle the whole ordeal since the very night she had witnessed death. 

It’s crazy how a whole century of practicing to murder her own fated lover can crumble under the gaze of one person—coincidentally, the person she had been prepared to kill since her time. 

The night before, the thought had never crossed her mind. Kikuko lied awake under the gleam of starlight, sprawled across her mattress. Washing against the window sill and bedroom floor, she could see the cool blue emanating through the curtains. The stillness of the night seemed to speak in hushed whispers as the moon watched over with maternal, gentle eyes. A peaceful lullaby sang in the air, trying its best to soothe the sleepless girl to wonderland. The crickets chattered amongst one another, huddled in groups as they talked of the night before and the night to come. In the maple tree, the warbling of the nightingale echoed across the sky, blessing the chatty leaves with its graceful tune.

Under the shadows of the branches brushing against her window laid Kikuko staring intently at the stars and galaxies above. Hanging above the navy-painted sky was the Cassiopeia constellation glaring down at her, beckoning her to shut her eyes so the remainder of the night could get their rest. She pondered at that, raking her fingers through her loose coral locks adorning her pillow. A large sigh escaped her lips as she flipped onto her underside, resting her chin in the nook of her palm.

"Provoking, isn't it Joji? It feels like every night is the same," Kikuko lamented, picking at the dirt stuck beneath her chipped fingernails.

Although spirits needn't any sleep, the whisp of aura sounded exhausted, cocooning himself into the hammock hanging in the far corner. "It could be that you haven't been getting a proper night's rest recently. I suppose it makes sense, seeing as the cycle is going to continue really soon."

Kikuko's weary eyes trailed down to her empty, callused hand, seeing each and every scar from over the decades. "It's tomorrow, silly. I'm just wondering what I should expect this time." The girl flopped onto her back, gazing blankly at the irregular coarseness of the ceiling. She quickly added, "Of course, there never really is much offered in the first place."

The spirit pulled back an amused chuckle. "Perhaps you're just getting antsy."

Kikuko sat upright like a twig, an eyebrow twitching in irritation. "Why! How insane you must be!" She crossed her arms indignantly. "I think you've known me long enough to understand that something as measly as this shouldn't be big enough to get on my nerves. If anything, I'm excited!"

Joji stared at her incredulously through his dreary eyes. "Clearly," he said shortly before rolling to face the wall on the other side. He let out a stretched out yawn as if he actually was capable of feeling drowsiness. "Just go to sleep Kuko-chan. It'll be more exciting in the morning."

But she didn't. The breeze was too loud and the chirping of the birds was too rowdy. So, Kikuko stayed up wondering about her next victim. So far, this would be her 11th? 12th? She had lost count of how many people's blood stained her hands. She could only vaguely remember the dreadful faces of a select few that she wanted to forget. The rest were mere blurs. 

The redhead pondered how the new addition would react to see her towering figure with a kill at the ready. Petrified? Delirious? Sad? This would be the second fourteen-year-old soulmate she would have ever killed, so she was a bit uncertain how they would respond. With maturity, they acted a bit more resilient. The previous one wasn't exactly a fighter, which is probably why she found it amusing to see resistance. It was still futile of course, as were all the rest.

As the flickering Cassiopeia beamed over her keen thoughts, Kikuko hoped to come across someone peculiar. Perhaps an intellectual prodigy born out of the books, or maybe a dangerous Hunter to mix things up and run a different course. She wasn't worried that she may lose her prey or may be incapable of executing another soulmate—she had plenty of experience. Lovers weren't the only lives she had taken. Besides, she was starting to grow a bit bored with the hopeless fight or flight behaviors. Although a bit absurd, Kikuko hoped the universe would listen to her pleas after reigning hell on her with this stupid fate. It was a silly, spontaneous wish that was sure to be forgotten during the night’s rest. 

Unfortunately, her request was delivered.


	3. 02

Kikuko wasn’t sure how she managed to crash and completely demolish a wedding in a span of ten minutes. In fact, she hadn’t even realized her fight had stumbled in on the party until Joji had kindly notified her of prying eyes. The only certain thing that happened to catch her attention was the sheer power emanating from those two boys who had somehow evaded her attacks. 

The morning started fairly ordinary, although, Kikuko was completely aware of who she was to encounter later that day. She had found comfort in a cozy cafe on the corner of an intersection of York New City. After packing up and running out of the hijacked house she had been staying in for that week, the redhead and her spiritual companion had rushed onto a train to the city that was home to all: multi-millionaires, gang leaders, lousy thieves, and dangerous assassins. Afterward, they had settled into a familiar coffee shop that was welcome to a variety of residents and passersby. 

Sitting in the nook away from the rowdy bikers and angry corporate workers, Kikuko eyed each and every customer passing through the doorway, carefully sipping the muddy mug of coffee she had ordered. 

“You call this homey?”

“Be quiet. It was nicer, like, 40 years ago.”

Joji huffed, sliding his smokey figure against the table obnoxiously. “Why can’t we go someplace fancy? The poor lad’s bound to come your way anyway.”

Kikuko ignored his whines, biting her thumbnail in contemplation. So far, there had yet to be any 14-year-old kids wandering about in this cruddy old diner. She guessed it made sense. No one in their right mind would come to the Smoking Saucer unless they had business there or were plain mad, at least, considering the conditions it was in currently. She huffed, tossing her bangs away from her eyes in boredom. 

“All right, Joji, you win. Let’s get the hell out of this dump.” She began shuffling her belongings into her pack as the spirit cheered delightfully. He then began suggesting they swing by that fancy bistro they passed by a couple of blocks back, or visit the bakery down the road added with a few pleas and bribery, which successfully found a way to irritate her after a while. “Why don’t you go talk to one of those burly bikers over there? I'm sure they're willing to chat up a storm.”

Joji huffed in indignation, folding his translucent arms. “You’re so cruel. You know nobody else can see me unless they use nen!”

Kikuko rolled her eyes, holding back a snicker. As she took her last sip from her mug, she leaned a little closer to his floating form. “Why don’t you run along and find some nen-users then?”

Joji glared at her, giving her a childish pout. “Don’t patronize me, Kuko-chan. You’re being inconsiderate.”

The girl let out a smug laugh as he continued to nag profusely, tugging at her sleeve like a brat. She rolled her eyes, digging through her pack to find her shabby old jacket buried under her mounds of books. "Tell you what, Joji. If you can find 14-year-olds that you can _actually_ talk to, we can head over to that bistro and buy something. How about it?"

"You mean like those two?"

Kikuko's head whipped up in a flash, eyes darting across the room. Indeed, there had been a significantly strong aura entering the building, by no less than _two_ boys. Above the clamor of the customers, she could barely make out their voices as they spoke to each other, but it appeared that the pale looking one was rather annoyed. 

Kikuko lowered her jacket back into her bag, eyes not tearing away from the two faceless visitors. "On second thought, Joji, we'll need to raincheck on that bistro." Ignoring the small complaints by her fellow spirit, she whipped out a book from her satchel and began to read casually, tuning in on the conversations across the room.

"...but we can't even trust him. I already said that he was sketchy from the start!"

"Why shouldn't we try? It's not like we have any leads anyway!"

Kikuko raised a brow, taking note of the green-haired boy who looked pretty enthusiastic to be tipped off wrongly. He had a strange outfit, and that was being more delicate. Wearing tiny boy shorts, bright boots, and a cropped jacket, he definitely didn't resemble the nen-user that she would've pictured after sensing his presence. Not to mention that amiable baby face that was graced with a grin.

"Psst, Kuko-chan!" Joji hissed. She ignored him, leaning a bit more back to get a better view. "Kuko-chan!"

"What now?" she scowled, furrowing her brows in irritation. 

He scratched the back of his smokey head unsurely. "I'm just asking, cause, well . . . It's just weird—"

"Just spill it." Kikuko slanted a brow incredulously, evidently fed up with his stalling.

After fiddling with his tiny fingers, he muttered, "Well, don't you think it's a bit odd? That the universe finally decided to give you someone who understands nen?"

Pursing her lips, the girl narrowed her eyes. "What, you think one or the other isn't my soulmate because I'm usually left with a squirmy shrimp?" After a moment's past, she chortled at his silence, swiping a finger under her nose in amusement. "If anything, I think the universe is just having fun at this point." The redhead leaned back against the booth, gazing to the other side of the room to look back at her next potential victims. And so, the fun began.

On that day, March 20th, 11:34 am, spring solstice, their eyes met. Radiant sapphire blue was the first thing that came to mind. Beautiful pools of ocean engulfed her, engraving itself into her memory like eroding stones washing against the shore, eyes that were all too familiar for her to forget. And then something in her soul finally began.

She glanced back to her book, murmuring quietly. "It's the boy with white hair."

"How do you know?"

"I just know, okay?" she growled impatiently, flipping a page in her book. Bringing her thumbnail to her teeth, she thought of possible ways to approach them. Although they emanated an immense aura, equating to possibly some of the stronger nen-users she had encountered in her long life, she doubted they could avoid her lethal attacks. Not once in her life had she missed a kill, and she doubted some boy with pretty blue eyes was going to be the one that made it all crumble. 

A dark smirk etched onto her contoured face. This was going to be exciting.

——

“I told you, baka!” scolded the boy with milk-white skin as the two walked out the backroom. He harshly hammered his fist over his head, earning a small yelp. "We were just wasting our time there. It was a scam!"

"I know that!" the boy retorted in a similar manner, despite being in the wrong.

The mysterious duo had been beckoned by an old chap with a hunched back behind the counter near fifteen minutes ago. Kikuko had been quietly waiting in her booth, trying to understand the context despite the sea of voices slurring with their conversation. However, the redhead had an impeccable sense of sound, so it only took a mere few seconds to hear their voices behind the heavy door. Apparently, the two companions were on some futile quest to find their friend, whoever that may be, and sought to find some information. Of course, sources residing in the Smoking Saucer were bound to be unreliable, so with a heavy sigh of defeat, they left the backroom. 

"Honestly, you’re a pain," muttered the boy with unruly light hair, face contorted red with irritation as they walked toward the exit. Slinking lowly, Kikuko used ten to hide her aura, following the two partners a minute after their departure. She walked down the busy streets of York New City casually, her keen eyes piercing the back of their heads a mere few meters ahead. 

"Kuko-chan, you're already in pursuit?” Joji asked suddenly, glancing between the two parties in concern. “I would’ve thought by now you go to a hotel to start plotting something fun.”

"I _am_ thinking of something fun." Kikuko grinned, wondering just how skillful the two boys could be. "Silly, Joji. Everyone knows you don’t hunt on new grounds without checking out the fish.”

Joji stared at her with worry. "I'm not so sure this is the best plan. They have _massive_ auras.”

The girl rolled her eyes, sending a scowl at the chatty spirit. “How long have you known me?”

“Give or take 30 years?” Joji guessed.

"Then you shouldn't think so lowly of me with your lack of information." Kikuko huffed, fixing her black mask across the bridge of her nose. Tucking her coral locks into a cap, she narrowed her eyes at her clueless companion. The redhead slapped her palm across her forehead with mock distress. "Ugh, how could I forget? Sorry Joji, you're going to have to hide for now. You'll ruin my plans."

Before the spirit could complain, she twirled her finger, whisking him away into nothing. A small smirk crept across her lips. She figured he wouldn't be too mad about it once they visited that bistro.

Kikuko's attention honed back on her two targets only to realize they had gone out of sight. Sighing, the girl picked up her pace and followed the sensation of their large auras in the distance. Slipping back into an alleyway, she climbed up to the top of the brick building, gazing over the dots of pedestrians below. She ducked into a low stance, running across building tops stealthily while stalking the two boys as they rounded another corner. After a while, they had reached an outdoor plaza filled with civilians enjoying their lunches by the water fountain. In the distance, Kikuko could see an arbor decorated with white roses and vines overlooking the harbor across from the plaza. A row of tables lined with sweets and food furnished the court as hyperactive children in formal wear ran through people's legs. The sight was quite pretty from the distance, and in all honesty, Kikuko wouldn't have argued to crashing the party. However, her silly plans were quickly disrupted.

Glancing back to where her targets previously were, the assassin was shocked to realize that they had disappeared completely. She scanned the entire plaza in alarm after only glancing away for a second and already realizing they had vanished. A string of curse words escaped her mouth. She had underestimated them . . .

An icy feeling ran down her back. In a split-second, Kikuko jolted to the left, her ear just skimming a hot searing metal object being launched from behind. Skidding to the side, the girl adjusted her mask more securely onto her face, her penetrating jade eyes narrowing at the two boys standing on the opposite side of the rooftop. The boy with curly white hair redrew his metal weapons attached to coils. Kikuko squinted in disbelief. Were those . . . yo-yos?

"Damn, I thought I had her that time," he muttered, fixing his sleeve. Shaking his head, he pinned his glare on her. "We know you followed us. We could sense a certain aura hide so suddenly. You oughta improve in your stalking skills."

Kikuko scowled. _Damn Joji_ . . . Although his aura wasn't the same as hers, he still emanated a certain feeling special to his own being, just as any living being does. She knew she should've hidden him sooner.

The boy in green shorts stepped forward, brows furrowed in interest. "Tell us, what do you want from us? Why did you follow us?"

The assassin didn't spare any words as she charged forward, summoning an aura to her fist and shooting disks of energy toward the boys. They reflexively dodged, jumping up to avoid the sharp impact. Wasting no time, Kikuko lunged onto the building across the alley, hearing the heavy footsteps of one of the boys. Her interests peaked slightly at the notice that one's feet were as light as feathers, much like an assassin. Perhaps this _was_ the universe having fun. 

Turning her heel, Kikuko faced her pursuers, building a ball of aura into her fists. The light one staggered back slightly at the sudden buildup, seemingly realizing that her aura was no joke. Under her mask, she smirked as she blasted her aura from her fists. Radiant rays of energy exploded into the air, blasting the top of a building and knocking the green-haired boy off his feet. The bricks tremored and fell apart, rubble collapsing to the ground in a matter of seconds. A screen of dust filled the air, blocking the once beautiful sun with smoke. Shrieking and cries came from the civilians below in the plaza, their thundering footsteps shaking the cobblestone below.

Quickly, Kikuko hopped down to join the crowd at ground level, sprinting toward the arbor. The silhouette of a boy hopped down the building from before, nearing her figure dangerously. Clearly, they weren't done with this fight yet, and to be frank, she wasn't either. This was the most fun she had in a decade. 

". . . Rock!"

Abruptly, she felt a cold shock run down her spine again. She immediately launched herself into the air, her eyes widening at the sight of the very ground splitting. The court quaked, cracks and rubble ruptured jagged lines across the pavement, and in the center stood the once cheery boy with shorts. Kikuko's shock morphed into amusement, a wicked grin flashing across her lips. She laughed mid-air, viewing the colossal damage the mere three 14-year-olds had inflicted on the area. 

Sensing a figure just above her, she looked above to see the shadow of the blue-eyed boy scowling with fervor. She might have just imagined it, but a flicker of blue lightning flashed in his palms, milliseconds away from rendering her paralyzed. But it never reached her.

Kikuko blasted herself to the side mid-air with a ball of aura, hurtling toward the ground before the boy's attack could touch her. Outraged, he landed on the jagged rubble, eyes glowering at her. Once having good footing, she tauntingly waved her hand. "Nice try, Sparky! Try hitting me next time!"

His milky-white skin grew red with irritation. "Why you—!"

Before she could even blink, Kikuko was sent back flying a couple of feet, a slight tingling in her cheek like pins and needles. After tumbling in the rubble, she grasped her bearings and staggered upright, feeling a heated sensation in the apple of her cheek. Had he . . . he punched her? It had been one—no, not even a second for her eyes to capture the moment and he managed to hit her. When was the last time someone was able to get such a solid hit? Netero? That one Spider? She wasn't certain, but the thought made her laugh. 

Snapping her fingers, the familiar crabby spirit apparated into existence again. "Joji!"

He looked angry, furious even, but his disgruntled appearance quickly subsided at the sight of her dirt-stained clothes. "What . . ." The spirit's gaze trailed to the boy watching them in utter disbelief. Subsequently, he seemed to realize the mass destruction they had managed to create: buildings crumbled to dust, tables on fire, and people going ballistic. "I was gone for fifteen minutes and you've done _this_?"

"That's not why I summoned you." She jabbed a finger at the confused boy. "That boy was able to hit me!"

"I don't care! Look at this mess! You've crashed another wedding, you aromantic imbecile!"

Kikuko seemingly just realized the setting. "Hm, I didn't even realize . . ." Joji continued to ridicule her, trying to in his best nature to whack her in the head, only for his hand to slip right through her. The girl paid no mind, blabbering at him to do his job and pay attention to the context. "Honestly, why can't you just listen to me! I'm the one who has power over you!"

"I'm not a pet!"

"No, but you quite literally are apart of me!"

"Oi, what the hell?! I'm standing right here!" The two snapped their heads to the right to see the boy with white hair staring at them incredulously, bickering like siblings as if they hadn't just demolished a whole wedding. He wasn't sure what to think about this mysterious attacker, but she was definitely insane. Or just an idiot.

Seemingly matching his pace, the redhead's smile reappeared. "All right then, if you say so, Sparky." She widened her stance, barking at the spirit. "Joji! Do your thing!"

With a sigh, the whisp of aura obliged. Like watching a horror movie, it passed right through her figure, encasing her entire body with a layer of his nen. Her eyelids fluttered open to reveal milky white orbs eyeing her opponent with excitement. The boy staggered back in apprehension, sensing the sheer power reeking from the combination of energy. In the distance, the boy with shorts was gathering his strength to create another vigorous ball of nen to punch with. Kikuko was interested in how the next few moments were to play out, with the electrified snowflake in front of her and the overaggressive rock-paper-scissor player combatting her invincible possession by Joji. But unfortunately, she never found out.

In a flicker of lightning, the two boys had dashed off at an inhuman speed, leaving them in the dust. Kikuko barely had the time to register that they had left before the dirt smoke cleared. Despite her targets fleeing from the scene, she wasn't upset. In fact, she was ecstatic.

Bringing her hand across her sore cheek beneath her mask, she smiled.

"Joji, the universe is getting creative."


	4. 03

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hullo! I've made a playlist for this story, so if you want to have a listen, go ahead! <3  
> < spotify:playlist:6UKB6GYvFVx8yK7nZ5X49N >

The following few days Kikuko had been on a riveting soulmate hunt. She easily followed their trail, as they weren’t very good at covering their tracks. Stalking them out of York New City, they had gone on a journey from town to town. Over the course of pursuing them, she had learned that their names were Gon and Killua, and apparently, they were on some quest to find their missing friend. Those facts had been irrelevant, however, because the only thing that mattered to Kikuko was that she was able to fight them.

It was an exciting experience, to say the least, but it was also _extremely_ frustrating at the same time. She had tried ambushing, kidnapping, spearing, toxic gas, you name it. It seemed the boys were quite unfazed by her attempts like they were merely bothersome. Kikuko even partook in multiple battles with them, leaving messes wherever they went, but they were constantly on their toes ready to fight. Perhaps they had already sensed that she was planning to attack them out of the blue for the past few days, but it was a bit peculiar how they were indifferent to her switching nens. To any other nen-user, it would almost seem as if she were a completely different assassin each time she switched, but the two friends fought her as if they had expected her for days to come.

Even so, Kikuko couldn’t lie and say they were useless: they were quite fascinating actually. Gon’s ability to garner nen to his fists and create destructive balls of energy was no easy feat, which naturally was impressive. On the other hand, Killua was by no mistake a skillful assassin. By the ways he read the battle and techniques he executed, Kikuko was able to deduce his origins. After all, she herself had her fair share of assassin exercises. 

Their abilities weren't even the strangest things that she encountered that week. Rather, it almost seemed as if they were _enjoying_ her murder attempts. Well, for Gon at least, he seemed quite enthusiastic to engage in battle. Killua, however, only seemed to view her as nothing more than a pesky bug. 

"I can't help but sense that you're approaching this the wrong way." Joji sighed, looming over Kikuko's shoulder as she peered behind the trunk. They currently were slumped on a tree branch hanging over the side of a trail, awaiting their lovely victims yet again. In the broad daylight, it looked a bit absurd if some travelers were to notice the girl crouched on a limb and talking to herself, but she figured that conundrums such as that wouldn't matter once she carried out her ambush. Kikuko's coral locks were tucked into her cap and her face was concealed with a black mask as usual. Her shabby corduroy jacket and vibrant feathers that she usually wore were stashed away in her satchel to prevent any damage to come to her precious items. 

"Oh yeah? And why's that?" Kikuko murmured, nibbling on her thumbnail as her eyes waited patiently on the path. 

"Haven't we already tried this before? You ended up crashing into a candy shop and had to pay for the windows."

Kikuko suppressed her chuckle. It probably wasn't very appropriate to laugh at that matter. "Well, there's no candy shop around here."

"You're missing the point, Kuko-chan." Joji deadpanned, hovering lower to look at her face. "All your plans have been ineffective thus far. I think you need to reevaluate."

The redhead narrowed her eyes at the criticism. "What? You don't like how I roll? Haven't we been doing this for 30 years? We've never failed before~"

"Yeah, only this time we're facing nen-users. Now, I know you haven't been taking this very seriously, but you're just going on a cat chase and wasting your energy," Joji chided, pointing an accusatory finger between her eyes. Kikuko furrowed her eyes in displeasure but allowed him to continue anyway. "I'm going to say something, and before you start ridiculing me, I want you to at least consider my proposition."

Kikuko groaned, sinking against the side of the trunk like a whiny child. "You sound an awful lot like Bisky right now."

Joji glared at her, giving her the ' _stop acting like a brat and hear me out'_ look. Begrudgingly, she sat upright, listening to his words. "Rather than going on a bloody rampage each battle, you should try befriending them. Approach them and introduce yourself like a civil human being for once."

"Hey—!"

"Now, now, I know that can be difficult to do," Joji cut in before she could argue. "But, if you are successful, they'll put their guards down and you'll be free to do all the killing you want."

Kikuko contemplated for a minute, gnawing at her nail in concentration. Even though Joji's words were pretty backhanded, he was right—she was _shit_ at making friends. Socializing wasn't her strong suit, not that she was anti-social or anything, but she just overall wasn't the type of person people looked for in a friend. All the friends she had acquired in the past had all once been at the tip of her blade. Well, nearly all of them. There was a one in a thousandth chance that the person she encountered would even enjoy her company and dismiss her weird habits. So yeah, hearing Joji's suggestion was without a doubt bizarre. 

Kikuko huffed, tugging at her bangs hanging over her eyes, not wanting to pay much attention. "Making friends takes too long. Besides, that's boring." She felt her stomach growl rudely. _Food_ , it complained. 

Annoyingly, since her encounter with Killua and Gon, she had started to get hungry randomly throughout the day. She guessed it made sense. After seeing her soulmate again, her inner clock was back to ticking, which naturally meant that puberty was resuming where it left off. Kikuko hated it, and the whines from her empty tummy only showered her with more shame.

Joji stared at her testingly. "Either you continue to fight till the end of your life and bear this terrible _puberty_ , or you go my way and kill them in their sleep."

Kikuko glared at him, nostrils flaring with resistance. Their gazes held for what seemed an eternity. Her stomach grumbled again. 

"Damnit, fine! We'll try your lame route and see just how bad it is!" she hopped off the branch onto the dirt road below with her spirit trailing just behind. Whipping around with a finger pointed indignantly, Kikuko huffed, "And just so we make things clear, we're doing this for my stomach. I don't think your plan is going to work at all!"

Joji suppressed a smirk horribly as her stomach rumbled aloud. 

Ignoring it and strutting forward with her head held high, Kikuko marched toward town ready to make some friends. "And we're stopping at a Wendy's on the way!"

——

Fate seemed to like toying with Kikuko in the most irritating ways. Perhaps the universe just favored Joji more than her or it just liked to see her make a fool of herself. Either way, it only made her hatred burn deeper.

She knew better than to believe it was a coincidence that her two future besties were slouching in a booth far in the back of Wendy's. Alas, she figured she would have to approach them one way or another. Matching gazes with Joji, she headed to their table. 

Considering all the murder attempts Kikuko had made the past week, she guessed her encounter could've gone way worse. Still, it was already at a rocky start when Killua jumped from his seat, ready to slice her to bits with his lethal yo-yos.

Kikuko raised her arms in surrender, slightly shocked that he was able to tell she was the person who had been attacking them. After all, they had never seen her face until now with her mask finally removed and her red hair free from her cap.

" _You_!" Killua exclaimed, bits of burger and ketchup on his face. Gon craned his neck to look over the booth, eyes widened at the sight of the girl. "What are you doing here?"

"You could tell it was me?" she said dumbfounded, completely disregarding his question.

The boy scowled. "You answer first. What do you want from us?"

Kikuko rolled her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. "You can put your yo-yos down—I'm not looking to destroy this Wendy's joint too." He didn't oblige, but she continued nonetheless. "Anyways, I'm here to apologize. I actually want to be friends . . . so, um, surprise~" She added little jazz hands for effect. Joji facepalmed behind her.

"Bullshit! What kind of person tries to kill people they want to be friends with?!"

Killua looked absolutely baffled while irritated. However, Gon looked quite the opposite. "Really?!"

She nodded, a crooked smile stretching across her lips. She may or may not have gotten a little too arrogant with her response. "I'll admit, I'm not the best people-person. You have every right to not trust me. But this is how I usually make friends. I don't like hanging out with people who can't take a joke."

Killua looked livid, his milk-white skin boiling red with anger. "A _joke?!_ Do you know how exhausting it is having to fight you constantly?! What did we even do to warrant this?!"

"Hey, Killua. You've got to admit she was good for training!" Gon gushed as if Kikuko hadn't just tried to kill them the past week.

"You're completely missing the point, baka!"

"If I may interrupt," Joji cut in, drifting in front of Kikuko, though she wasn't sure why. It looked like things were going fairly well from her perspective. "Please excuse her deranged habits. She's a bit wild, you know, lacking in the parental support department." He muttered that last part, but it didn't go unnoticed by Kikuko. 

Before she could protest, Killua jabbed a finger at him. "You've been partaking in this too! Don't act so innocent."

Joji placed a ghostly hand over his chest. "I'm truly sorry, it wasn't in mal-intent. I simply have to follow orders from my host. You see, I'm a life form that she acquired when executing a target she was assigned. I'm made completely of nen and I'm linked to her. She emits me constantly, so I really have no choice but to obey her."

The two boys narrowed their eyes at Joji as if he had just said he ate a carcass for breakfast. Gon gasped a little too late to be considered a normal reaction. He pointed his finger at him, glancing at Kikuko. "It talks?!"

The girl shrugged, not knowing much more than him. "I guess he does . . . "

Killua groaned, swiping his hand through his unruly white locks. "Is anyone here going to think _sanely_? They tried to kill us! And she said it was a joke!"

"To be fair, I wasn't _trying_ to kill you. I was . . . just testing you," Kikuko muttered. She never really was good at lying.

"Like I'm supposed to believe that."

Joji seemed a bit irked by her lack of compliance with his plan. In all honesty, she really didn't want to befriend Killua and his cheery companion at all. With her lifestyle, being all close and buddy-buddy with her soulmate was never a good idea. The last time she had become friends with her soulmate . . . well, it was better to not dwell on those memories. 

"You see, Kikuko here was raised by an assassin, so it sort of explains why her moral compass is screwed. I guess when she gets interested in things, she doesn't really know what to do about it."

Kikuko glared at Joji. "I'm right here!"

Killua still seemed very tense and frustrated with their appearance on the scene. Then, miraculously, Gon the angel decided to input his thoughts. "Well, I must say you trying to kill us shouldn't really be excused. But, Killua, you have to admit: training with Kikuko-san was fun. And I got better at sensing nen."

The blue-eyed boy still looked unconvinced. "Can't you see she's crazy?"

"I prefer enthusiastically creative."

"You don't get an opinion in this!" growled Killua. He faced Gon with a sigh. "Look, I don't trust this lunatic, but it's your call. If you want to befriend this girl, then fine."

Gon nodded, placing his hand on his chin in contemplation. His deep-set thinking skills seemed to end in seconds. "Okay! Kikuko-san, let's be friends."

Joji and Killua deadpanned. It couldn't have been that easy, could it?

Kikuko exclaimed in joy, jumping up and down. The two began hyping each other up about their nen abilities that they had combated the past few days. They passed introductions within seconds like the battles from before were ancient history. So much for not excusing her actions.

"Anyways, how the hell were you able to tell I was the one behind it all? Usually, nobody can tell because of my nen ability, which is being able to swap my nen out with some I have acquired in the past."

"So that's why your nen felt different each time? So cool!" Gon gushed like a fanboy. Killua brooded, unamused in the back of their conversation. 

Kikuko nodded. "Yeah, so I technically have a huge supply of nen that I can choose from. It's because I'm a special user." She shrugged indifferently, leaning in with more interest as to how they were able to pinpoint it was her. "So, how'd you know?"

"I have a really good sense of smell, and well . . . no offense, but you smell."

Kikuko blushed. It hadn't occurred to her that she had been so driven the past few days that she didn't think of showering. No doubt, she probably reeked. Well, there was no going back from the embarrassment. It was written all over her.

Nevertheless, the conversation flowed rather smoothly from that point on, mostly consisting of Kikuko and Gon raving over each other's powers with Joji adding bits and pieces in between. Killua remained silent the whole time, his piercing eyes not leaving her. Along the lines, they had ordered food and finished their meals. Gon agreed to let Kikuko and her fellow spirit tag along on their journey to search for some guy named Kurapika. It all seemed to run so smoothly, almost _too_ smoothly, but the girl didn't argue. She was at least grateful she got the acceptance of her soulmate's best friend. It was one step closer to her ultimate goal. 

_Don't forget it Kikuko_ , she reminded herself. _Remember you're code_.

Just as they were leaving the joint, Killua harshly grabbed her by the forearm, staying behind the group, penetrating sapphire orbs burning through her soul. "You may have him fooled, but don't get too confident. If I sense any sort of second thoughts, any doubts that you want to pick up that blade, or you so much as lay a hand on any of us," his brilliant eyes dulled into something that was full of malice, "I won't hesitate to kill you."

Something about his threats amused her. She cracked a smile.

"Likewise."


	5. 04

Killua wasn't sure what to think of the new member of their team. The self-proclaimed assassin was nothing short of irritable, and that was just touching on it.

For starters, Kikuko was loud, vile, insensitive, stubborn, the list seemed to go for miles. She was a heavy sleeper, having a cranky attitude each morning for the past week. She was always asking to stop at some restaurant to get something to eat. She liked to start arguments with him just for the sake of arguing. It almost felt as if she were _trying_ to get on Killua's nerves. And that wasn't even the least of it.

Since her initiation into the group, the boy couldn't help but grow more and more suspicious of her. Kikuko was constantly talking to Joji in her motel room at night, whispering like two third-graders gossiping in class about who crushed on who. Even though she had said countless times that she wanted to be friends, she always preferred to remain distant and observe them whenever they faced small problems. Not to mention her backhanded comments about killing him.

Gon was utterly oblivious to her strange habits, and it quite frankly agitated him. However, the redhead didn't seem very hostile around him. In fact, if he hadn't known any better, it almost seemed as if she were genuinely fond of Gon. But of course, Killua knew people as mysterious as she didn't act without underlying motives. 

He had learned as a child to never trust people unless he had a complete grasp of their character. His father had taught him to read expressions, habits, the way someone would react to lies or anger, the way someone would speak in certain situations that required quick-thinking skills. In moments of crisis, it was easy to map out a person's values in the split moment of hesitation. The naivety of Gon was easy to read as he wore his emotions on his sleeve, so instantly Killua was able to deduce his determined and witty character. Kikuko, on the other hand, was a bit difficult. Although she definitely didn't hesitate to put her emotions out there (having cried over not finding an ice cream parlor two days back), there was something undeniably off with her actions, and it wasn't just the fact that she had tried to kill them numerous times. Kikuko was a puzzle just waiting to be solved, and Killua was determined to break her. 

"So, just to be clear, you guys haven't got a single lead thus far?" the girl asked, twirling her fingers through her magenta feather. Kikuko dressed funny, almost like a hippy but also a mix of fashion that seemed to come from generations ago. She wore a dark turtleneck and jeans beneath her ragged corduroy jacket. Around her neck was a blue calcite pendant that you would typically see worn around a Romani seer that would offer to tell you your fortune. Threaded into her choppy coral hair were vibrant feathers, bringing out her already lively features. One thing that really struck Killua strangely was the upside-down triangle marks below her forest-green eyes. Nobody questioned them, but they most definitely were branded into her skin with searing hot metal.

"Mhm, we're still trying to look for something. Kurapika doesn't answer his phone a lot. In fact, he hasn't answered it in a while." Gon rubbed the back of his neck with a sheepish grin. He tried to lighten up the mood when he saw Kikuko's disheartened expression. "But no worries, Ki-chan! I'm sure we'll find something soon."

Killua eyed them from behind as they walked down the path toward the train station. 'Ki' was the nickname Gon had adopted for her as if he was already getting comfortable around her. It made Killua uneasy. 

"Why don't you help us out, Kikuko? After all, you seem to have quite a bit of experience tracking people down," he spoke up suddenly, a hint of venom laced in his words.

The girl glanced back at him, her mouth scrunched to the side. "Well, Sparky, it's easier said than done. Unlike Kurpa—"

"Kurapika."

"—Yeah, sure. Unlike Kurapika, I already had a feeling of your nens first hand. And well, since my specialty resides in expending other people's nen that I have taken, it was quite easy to attach some to your auras and track you down."

Gon jumped in excitement. "Ah, so it's like a tracker!"

"Yeah, basically," Kikuko shrugged like it just was normal. Killua was still very wary of her abilities. He had felt the alarming sensation of being in her presence when Joji had encased her with his aura, and it had only been for a mere few seconds. The fact that she had an endless supply of nen at her expense, being able to emit without even concentrating, made him nervous. It couldn't be possible for a normal 14-year-old girl to be so skillful. That didn't even scratch the strange upbringing of Joji, her spiritual companion. 

"Say, Kikuko, I've been meaning to ask," Killua started carefully, eyeing the back of her head. "How exactly do you collect people's nen anyway?"

"Oh, that's an easy question." The redhead craned her neck, staring at him with those cheery jade irises, and smiled. 

"I kill them."

Killua stopped in his tracks, feeling his back shudder coldly as if a bucket of ice water was dumped down his shirt. He glanced at Gon through his peripherals, wondering if he too was just as anxious as him. Contrary to that, he looked unfazed by her answer, and far more curious. Killua cursed beneath his breath as his two traveling companions stopped with him, staring back at him with mild concern.

"Killua, are you okay?" Gon asked, cocking his head to the right.

The white-haired boy's veins were pulsing with anticipation. He needed to get Gon and run the hell out of there. But how? Kikuko had just explained before that she literally put a nen tracker on them. His stomach churned at the thought. _It was a dead man's aura attached to him_. He clenched his fists, feeling a droplet of sweat trickle down his neck. There was no way he could trust this girl. They had to escape. Maybe they could while she slept—she could practically sleep through a hurricane. That, or he could poison her food when she went to the bathroom. With her appetite, he doubted she would hesitate to chow down her meal—

"Hey." Killua froze at the feeling of Kikuko's hand on his shoulder. Her brows were furrowed, eyes reading through the lines on his face like a book. "Are you all right?"

Her words didn't feel comforting, but he forced himself to suppress his nerves. He couldn't afford to let her sense his thoughts. "I'm fine. Just thought I heard someone behind us." He brushed her arm off and trudged ahead of them. The two didn't seem to take his tiny meltdown too seriously. They continued to converse quite normally. 

"Of course, I only take the nens of those who are unworthy. Those who use their powers for cruel acts," Kikuko clarified, waving it off like she was explaining how she took people's candy rather than their lives. "I don't like when people squander with their lives for useless and evil means, like abuse, rape, greed. In my opinion, death is far more beautiful on them than what they decorate their nen with."

Killua guessed it was a justified reason. Still, those few moments of panic bothered him. If she hadn't had a sense of self-justice, would she have killed Gon and him for the sake of attaining their power? Would she take it regardless?

"Aren't you an assassin? What if you're assigned a target?" he asked suddenly. 

Kikuko laughed. "Oh, well, I'm not an assassin anymore. I quit decad—I mean two years ago. It wasn't really my choice to become one in the first place."

Killua perked at the way she stumbled, but Gon seemed oblivious to it as usual. "Wow, that's cool! Killua is also a retired assassin like you. You guys are sort of alike, you know? Like kindred spirits!"

The boy wasn't sure why, but Kikuko's face grew warm, matching her scarlet locks. "Pfft, really? No, you must be crazy," she sputtered.

Killua stared at her incredulously. She always got flustered and evasive at the slightest suggestion of anything mildly intimate or provocative. Her inability to mask her emotions often made him wonder how she even managed as an assassin.

Then again, Gon's words were a bit presumptuous. He glanced away from them, hoping they wouldn't catch his reaction. "Let's just get to the train before it leaves us."

——

Normally, Killua wouldn't have hesitated to grab Gon and ditch Kikuko at the slightest opening. He was always the one for quick thinking and discretion compared to his friend. However, he surprised himself, but not nearly as much as she had.

"Hey, it's okay, kiddo. Why're you crying?" Kikuko knelt beside a little pudgy boy with black hair and puffy red eyes. They had barely a few minutes before their train was to depart, but she had insisted they help the little boy. Her resistance struck Killua differently. He had seen her angry and pouty plenty of times, but this deviated from the rest. For an assassin, it sounded strangely compassionate. "Are you looking for your mother?"

The boy sniveled, nodding slowly as he peeked through his hands. The girl gave a crooked smile, which didn't look the most comforting, but to a child who was hopeless and in tears, it might've appeared angelic. 

"All right, we'll help you find your mother." She stood, extending her arm for him to grab. "What does she look like...?"

Killua and Gon stood behind them as they pushed through the crowded platform hand-in-hand. Kikuko was barely taller than five feet, but she searched through the mob of towering figures nonetheless. At the moment, the two friends were out of her sight. Killua considered knocking Gon out and bolting onto the train while they still had time. Yet, his feet remained planted on the cement watching her help the poor toddler. 

Up until that moment, he had never seen her so tender. For the past week, Kikuko had been rude, obnoxious, tactless, and just outright irritable. Killua didn't trust her the slightest and practiced caution each second in her presence. The girl was absolutely insane without a doubt, and he just wasn't going to take chances with her being so unpredictable all the damn time. 

Yet, right now, she didn't look as much of the villain he played her up to be.

It was about five minutes later that the two boys could see the girl's flaming red hair popping out from the crowd. In the distance, they could see the pudgy child being held on the shoulders of a slender lady with a kind smile. She grabbed Kikuko's hands gratefully, squeezing them tightly as inaudible words left her mouth. The redhead nodded, waving as the happy parent and child went the other direction. 

When she joined them, she scratched her cheek with a nervous laugh. "We missed the train, didn't we?"

Gon shook his head. "It's fine. We'll board the one right after." Kikuko still didn't look too certain, so as a way to bring high spirits back, he slung a rough arm over her shoulder, dragging Killua with him as well. He released that contagious grin that always seemed to draw others in. "The next stop, we'll get a lead on Kurapika, I guarantee it!"

"Baka, you're too optimistic for your own good," Killua muttered bashfully, trying to shake his arm off him. 

"But we will!"

"Gon's right. We'll find Kurpa!"

" _Kurapika!_ "

"Right, yeah..."

They boarded the train that came rolling in about an hour later. As the train chugged on the rails, Killua could see the green trees of the town grow more and more distant. Gon had fallen asleep against his side not too long after they departed, leaving him with the girl he didn't want to be with. 

Kikuko was sitting across from him, a book in her hands as she chewed on her thumbnail, a tic he realized she had when she thought to herself. Unfortunately, his lingering gaze didn't go unnoticed. 

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, baka. I wasn't doing anything."

"You were staring at me!"

"Like I would stare at you, ugly!"

"Asshole!"

She kicked him from under the stationary table, crossing her arms indignantly. Killua huffed, his patience wearing thin each second he wasted with her. He wasn't sure why he didn't take the chance to run while she was off helping that boy. Maybe then he wouldn't have to deal with her constant banter.

Nonetheless, the blue-eyed boy figured he didn't have much to do for the long ride out of the country, and he sure as hell wasn't about to sleep with no one on guard. With his chin slumped in his hand, he sighed begrudgingly, "It was nice what you did for that kid."

Kikuko perked from her book. "Oh? On the platform?" He nodded, trailing his gaze to the window as arrays of trees passed by. "Ah, well. It was nothing."

"That's still more than what most people would do."

The girl froze at his words, staring at him as if he had shapeshifted into Joji. A peculiar feeling of confusion filled Killua when a single tear escaped her eye. She was quick to wipe it away, but the boy had already seen enough. What had he said to provoke tears?

"Well, someone once told me helping the helpless is what keeps us humane." Kikuko sniffed, her eyes falling back to her book quietly. Whatever she meant by that, Killua didn't know, but he didn't press for answers. Kikuko didn't talk for the rest of the ride.


	6. 05

****

**A/N:** here's a little colored sketch I drew of the trio hehe. Hope you like it!

* * *

If she were to try and picture her mother's face all those years ago, Kikuko could barely muster much more than a faceless smile. Maybe a couple of decades back, she could even remember the comfort of her laugh, but over time, they had washed away into warbled echoes in her mind. It seemed to be one of the curses of living a timeless life: losing the memories of the days she was more human, a bit saner, and maybe for a time, happy.

The fact never really bothered her anyway. Besides, if there were no memories to remember, why should it bother her? There was nothing to be sad about if you couldn’t even remember the reason why you were happy in the first place. 

However, there was always that one bothersome factor for the girl out of time. Before she had learned to be a ruthless killer, she was a lady. Now, Kikuko had never been very good at that. She could still vividly remember the disdainful sneer from her governess each time she tripped or spoke her mind. In retrospect, it made sense Kikuko was far better for the blade. Young girls weren’t supposed to be outspoken, or impulsive, or have a mind of their own. They were supposed to hide their smiles behind those dainty fans and impress the lords in hopes that they would get married into a family of nobles. 

Kikuko remembered one supper her family shared with high-borns and a lady was present. Elegant and poised, with a cinched waist and breasts that could attract any spineless man, she was the lady of her governess’s dreams. She was well-mannered, prideful, spoke only when spoken to, and had the face of a Greek goddess. 

To be a lady, born only to be a man’s trophy, to be one of a _kindred spirit_ , no less. And to be _adored_. It was any little girl's dream during the era, and perhaps at one point, it had been Kikuko’s as well. 

But as the decades went by, with each life taken, the appeal that lady held that one supper washed away. Kikuko didn’t want that. Kikuko didn’t want love. She didn’t want to be a lady. 

She wanted _freedom_. 

But sometimes, she was reminded she was still just a girl. A girl out of time. 

When she woke up that morning, Kikuko could’ve sworn she was going mad. Feeling far more sluggish than usual and the urge to go brawling in the very next second, she wasn’t sure what was in her dream that provoked this sort of attitude. Could it be because they arrived in the city so late the night before? Or was it another one of those hormonal mood swings she was growing tired of?

Glancing down at her pajamas, Kikuko couldn’t comprehend the difference. Hesitantly, she placed her hands against her chest, feeling the tightness beneath the fabric. 

Had they gotten . . . bigger?

Suddenly, her room door burst open, creaking on its hinges. Killua had a peeved look on his face that read ‘ _I don’t want to be here.’_ He rubbed the back of his neck. “Gon said to wake you. We’re going to head out—“ He stopped himself, milky white skin aflame as he stared at her bewildered. “What the hell are you _doing_?!”

Kikuko glanced down at her hands, realizing she had been sizing herself up out of pure curiosity. She was yet again reminded that she was a girl going through puberty. At one point in her life, she had hoped that one day she was going to look like that lady with the beauty of a Greek goddess. But now, Kikuko didn’t want to be a lady with a cinched waist and big breasts, _especially_ since it was her soulmate staring at her like she grew a third eye.

The realization washed over her like a bucket of ice, her pride going down with it. 

3 . . .

2 . . .

1 . . .

“Get out my room, _pervert_!” She infused her nen into her pillow, launching it at Killua like a projectile. He was thrown like a rag doll across the hall, back slamming against the corridor wall. Her face burning with embarrassment, Kikuko lunged atop him, giving his cheek a kiss from her knuckles. “Don’t you know how to knock?! Tactless, creepy, perverted bastard!”

“Christ, get off me woman!” he groaned, trying to pull away her hands ripping at his face. They rolled over, fumbling with each other’s arms like children fighting over a toy. 

“Say . . . sorry!” Kikuko grunted, his palm pushing her chin upward. 

“You’re . . . a . . . _lunatic_!” Killua managed through his squished cheeks beneath her foot. 

Like heathens, they tumbled around in a heap of bodies, pushing and twisting each other's limbs and face away. Jaw clenched and eyes bloody with anger, Kikuko felt as if her arm was seconds away from being torn off as the boy straddled her to the ground. With a huff, she kneed his back, knocking him forward onto his palms. In one swift motion, she flipped him under her, trying to restrain his arms, but he was just as determined to win. 

"Give . . . in, damnit!"

"No!"

". . . Guys?"

The two whipped their heads to the side to see a bewildered Gon gawking at them. Immediately, they jumped to their feet, brushing their clothes from any dust that collected as they rolled down the hotel corridor. Killua coughed awkwardly, feeling like an idiot for starting a fight with a girl so early in the morning. 

Gon shifted his weight, eyeing the two petty teenagers carefully. "What happened?"

In unison, they shouted their perspectives of the story.

"Killua's a pervert! Peeping in and giving no respect—!"

"Bullshit! I was waking you up and you were acting weird and jumped me!"

"What, so am I supposed to let you just _watch_ , you animal?!"

"I wasn't watching! You just were—"

"Okay! Okay, I get it!" Gon cut in hastily, a drop of sweat running down his temple. He raised his arms to ease the tension like he would to steady a spooked horse. "Why don't we start by apologizing, huh? Killua first because he walked in Ki-chan's room."

Killua looked as if he were about to protest, but he stopped himself after seeing Gon's expectant dough eyes. Rolling his eyes pettily with a sigh, he managed to mutter beneath his breath, "Sorry for not knocking."

His friend smiled before turning to Kikuko. "Your turn!"

The redhead narrowed her eyes at the blue-eyed boy with her arms crossed indignantly. Spitefully, she stuck her tongue out and tugged her under-eyelid. "Screw you, pervert! I hate you!"

Gon deadpanned. Enraged, Killua exclaimed, "Fine then! I hate you too!"

"Okay, baka!"

"No, _you're_ the idiot!"

As the two continued to bicker, Gon sighed with a tired smile. _How did I get here?_

——

After the whole dispute settled down and they got ready for the day, the trio left the hotel to visit some diner Gon had mentioned before that somehow was related to Kurpa-what's-his-name—Kikuko wasn't really listening. Instead, she was busy sharing her grievances about that morning with Joji.

"Calm down, Kuko-chan," he allayed nervously as she burned holes through the back of the boy's head. Brooding behind the two boys, they strayed a bit behind for Kikuko to get her full rant out. Thankfully, they were a good enough distance so the unassuming friends couldn't hear them.

"Do you know how close I was to _killing_ him?" The girl squirmed, the image of her throttling the boy in her head doing much to help her nerves. She gnawed aggressively at her thumbnail as she watched Killua talk with Gon in front. The former boy craned his neck, making sharp eye contact with her. Their intense gazes could've started a nuclear breakout, but eventually, Killua faced forward again, breaking the tension.

"All I'm saying is give her a chance," Gon reasoned, waving his arms. "You never know, you may end up liking her. She's fun to talk to!"

Killua groaned, miming a nauseous expression. "She's batshit crazy. She even tried to _kill_ us, in case you forgot!" He grumbled after sensing her piercing glare still trained on at the back of his head. "Besides, she doesn't seem too fond of me either. It's mutual hate."

Gon looked at him with his mellow expression. "Hey, Killua, you've been really grumpy lately."

The white-haired boy sighed, stowing his hands into his pockets. "I know. Sorry."

"It's fine. I'm sure you'll be back to normal when we get more of a lead on Kurapika!" his friend exclaimed optimistically. A sly smirk crept onto his lips. "Say, there's still five blocks left. Wanna race?"

A grin broke out, wiping away any traces of irritation that marred Killua's face from that morning. "Yeah, but I'll win."

"Yeah, okay," Gon dismissed confidently. He whipped his head around, looking at the green-eyed girl. "Hey, Ki-chan! You mind giving us a countdown? We're going to race our way there."

Kikuko blinked before nodding, seeing the boys in a lunging position just at the end of the block. "Uh, three, two, one!"

It felt as if the weather suddenly began acting up. The redhead coughed after inhaling the dust their sneakers kicked up as they sprinted across the city sidewalks bustling with people. They had incredible stamina, so they had proved before, but they also had a knack for making a mess wherever they went, disturbing pedestrians with their silly race. Nevertheless, Kikuko couldn't say much about that, seeing as she also was quite the party crasher. 

Eventually, she caught up with them at the front of the diner, eyeing the towering building. It was like any other diner, having a franchise of multiple joint locations in different cities internationally. Kikuko wasn't sure what was so significant about this that could lead to the missing Kurta. 

"And this'll help us find your friend in what way, you said?" she asked.

"Well, using the Hunter site last night, we were able to pinpoint the last place Kurapika was seen," Gon explained. He pointed a finger inside. "I bet the workers will be able to tell us something."

"Right," Kikuko muttered, giving a side glance to Joji. Gon and Killua had explained before that they were licensed pro-Hunters, which the girl wasn't too surprised about. The former assassin had also been given a chance to try out for a Hunter license at one point, but she figured it wasn't really worth her time. Anyway, she was still really good at tracking people without the help of some card. Still . . . she felt a bit useless in situations like this, which was stupid.

Walking into the diner, the three friends plopped onto stools lined up on the counter. Joji floated beside Kikuko, peering over her shoulder to read the menu. 

"They've got chicken pot pie!" he exclaimed excitedly.

Kikuko stared at him incredulously. "Joji, you can't eat. You're a spirit."

He huffed in irritation as if she had said the most offensive thing in the world. "A spirit can dream!"

Shaking her head, she twirled her finger, hiding Joji again. Gon had already started talking to the waiter on the other side of the counter, leaning in with interest. "You see, he's been missing for a few months, and the last time he was sighted was this specific joint."

The male waiter was around his mid-twenties with a blonde buzzcut. He scrunched his unruly brows at the photocard Gon showed him, tapping his chin in contemplation. "Ah, yes, I think I _have_ seen him. About a month ago. Scary dude."

Killua perked at this, leaning closer. "Do you know where he was headed? Or maybe what he was doing in the city?"

The blonde shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. "No, I wouldn't know what he was up to. He didn't say much. He also didn't tip well."

The boy grimaced at this. He couldn't care less about how well Kurapika paid for services. "Did he do anything significant here? Maybe he had some weird business . . . ?"

The waiter hesitantly shrugged. "I'm sorry, I can't help."

Suddenly, the conversation was interrupted by the slam of Kikuko's fist on the counter. She jabbed a finger between the employee's eyes accusingly. "Bullshit! I'm calling it!"

That earned a few stares from the other customers. Gon raised his arms to ease her temperament, a nervous grin on his lips. "Now, Ki-chan, let's not push it."

"Yeah, _idiot_. Let's not do anything stupid while we're here," Killua seethed at her through grit teeth, jumping from his seat.

Kikuko persisted. "No way. This guy is written all over with guilt. I can smell it—he _reeks!_ "

"W-What?!" the blonde sputtered, raising his arms up in defense. "Ma'am, you're being irrational. I'm going to have to ask you to leave—AH!"

The redhead yanked him by the collar over the counter, pulling her fist back with a glare. "Fess up—" she glanced at his name tag, "—Lestor! Or we can have a quick chat outside if that's what you want!"

Whispers spread across the room with bystanders. Gon was shaking her shoulder urgently, but she didn't budge. Killua was gaping at her chaotic nature, feeling his tolerance for her wearing thin day by day. _She's going to be the end of me,_ he thought.

"I-I really don't know what you—"

A dark shadow overcame Kikuko's face as she glowered at him. Her fist glowed ominously with nen. "What, _Lestor_?" The blonde's adam's apple bobbed in fear. The air was tense with the girl's bloodlust taunting them. Everyone's eyes were trained on the scene, frozen in fear of her losing patience. And then suddenly a miracle happened. 

"He was talking to one of our stockholders. Something about red eyes and having a jar. Please let me live, I just didn't want to get fired," Lestor squeaked faster than anyone could blink. Kikuko released the poor waiter, dropping him to the floor as he released the heavy breaths he had been holding.

"Oh, okay." She dusted her palms casually, placing her knuckles on her hips with a grin as she faced her companions. "There you have it!" Gon and Killua stared at her with their jaws practically on the floor. She furrowed her brows. "What?"

Shaking away the shock, Killua kneeled before Lestor hesitantly, glancing over his shoulder at Kikuko cautiously. Sighing, he turned back and asked, "You mind telling us where this stockholder lives?"

——

Sneaking into the penthouse was pretty easy, and if Kikuko were to be honest, quite exciting. It had been a while since she played at assassination, with the quiet feet and the peeking around corners like death stalking the target, which ironically was true. Gon had been a bit more clumsy compared to them, being as his typical fighting style required a more direct assault rather than a stealthy approach, but he managed to get in unnoticed with his friends' help. 

"So, we just pop in and say hi to Sato-sama or what?" Kikuko whispered as they all crouched against the wall.

"We'll just get answers and roll out of here!" Gon affirmed quietly, nearly tripping over his own feet from his enthusiasm. Killua helped steady him.

"No offense guys, but unless we use forceful means, he's not going to be so open to honesty."

Kikuko smirked at him. "My specialty."

Sato had been sitting on the chair, watching the city night skyline as he puffed from his cigar and sipped from his whiskey. His potbelly was tight against his button-up and his shiny exposed head was chilly from the spring breeze without the company of his brown hair. The businessman sighed, sinking lower into his seat enjoying the comfort of his home paid from the corruption of his work. Just as he was about to let his droopy eyelids lower, he looked up, seeing forest-green eyes staring back at him. Before he could jolt from his seat, he was shoved back again forcefully, earning a pained grunt.

"Huh?! W-What the hell?!"

Kikuko had her dagger up against his pink neck, giving him that penetrating glare that only knew victory. He gulped fearfully. "Evening, Sato-sama."

"What is the meaning of this?!"

Gon hopped beside her, staring at the stockholder intensely. "You, sir. We were told that you were talking with our friend Kurapika a month ago about his clan eyes. What happened?"

Sato looked furious, his already pudgy red face warming in anger. " _Damn that Kurta!_ He said he would leave me alone when I gave him the damn eyes!"

The man flinched as a third member suddenly appeared at his right. Killua's usually luminous sapphire eyes were dull with bloodlust, his fingers stiff and veiny. "Careful what you say, _swine_."

With a girl standing just atop him, a large-eyed boy on his left, and a murderous boy on his right, Sato felt his fingers tremble in terror. "Y-You're all just children!"

Kikuko pressed her blade closer to his throat with a smile. "And you'll be dead in a few seconds if you don't answer."

The businessman's gaze lingered on her shiny dagger nervously. With a gulp, he grunted, "T-The boy had approached me, demanding I give him the eyes. I won them in an auction, you see. Heard from a friend they were priceless. If I had known some crazy bastard was going to come looking for them, I wouldn't have looked in their direction!" He cut himself short as he saw Killua glower at that. Sato inhaled slowly, continuing the story.

"Anyway, he wasn't as forward about it at first. I reckon he was still hesitant to do anything rash in public. But then, by my mistake, he saw me with a little lady friend." He grunted a bit, seeing Kikuko narrow her eyes at that. "I mean, a paid friend. Anyway, he broke into my home, much like how you guys did, and demanded I give him the eyes to barter for my life."

The three friends exchanged glances. "Where did he go to next? Did he say anything?" Gon pressed.

Sato heaved in exhaustion, looking up at the night sky. "Uh, he said something about going north. I think the Republic of Padokea. But I'm not sure! The boy was very brief." Seeing the trio less tense at that, he breathed, trying for a desperate smile. "So does that mean I can be free?"

Kikuko still glared at him. "What do you guys say? I can kill him if you want." Sato's eyes widened in fear.

Killua sighed, bringing his arms behind his head calmly. "It's not worth it. He's a pitiful man."

"He's right. It wouldn't be right for us to kill him. Let's just go, we got what we wanted." Gon nodded motioning them away from the balcony. Thankful wails escaped the man's lips as he teared up. Kikuko, however, stared at the stockholder harshly, a scowl prominent on her lips. Gon stopped, glancing back. "Ki-chan, c'mon."

She didn't move. "You know, people like you make me sick," she muttered, her jade eyes staring through the pathetic man's soul as the glint of her blade nicked his skin. Kikuko glanced to the right at Killua and Gon. "Are you sure you don't want me to kill him? I could do it cleanly. No one would know."

Sato didn't seem to agree. "You crazy bitch! Your friends said to let me go!" He quieted as she pinned her gaze on him again, gulping weakly. His chins trembled. "I-If you lay another h-hand on me, I'll sue you, little girl!"

A cry escaped his lips as she jabbed him straight in the nose. Hot thick tears trickled down his eyes at the feeling of blood pooling out his nostrils. "I'll sue ya! I'm telling you! I'll sue ya!"

Kikuko smiled wryly. "Good luck trying to find my name in the records, bitch!" With another quick punch, the man was out cold. Quickly hopping off, she grabbed onto Killua and Gon's hands and dashed out the penthouse, a crooked grin on her lips as they ran away. She let out a yell of joy. "Kurapika, here we go!" 

——

Getting tickets to Padokea was easy. Kikuko guessed having two Pro-Hunters as friends did have its perks. They boarded the airship hastily as it was seconds away from departure and even got a good room to accommodate with three beds.

The day had been full of excitement, so everyone quickly grew tired. After dressing in the bathroom into her pajamas stowed in her satchel, the redhead threw her shabby jacket over it for comfort and pulled her sheets up. On the left of her bed was Gon already asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. To her right, Killua was busy organizing his pillows carefully.

"So, you're actually going to sleep this time?" Kikuko smiled at the red dusting his nose as he glanced away, looking as if he got caught.

"Don't get me wrong, I still don't trust you. But even I need to sleep."

The girl sighed. "Don't worry. I won't kill you."

"That's reassuring."

Kikuko inspected her nails. Dirt seemed to continually be underneath them, no matter how many times she scrubbed. Maybe it was the stain of her sins or the blood of those who cried like Sato today from decades ago. She wondered if Killua would cry like that.

The boy settled in his bed, staring at the ceiling blankly. Minutes passed in an awkward silence shared between the two assassins. After what seemed like ten minutes, Killua said, "You know, you annoy me a lot. But what you did today at the diner . . . you were cool. We wouldn't have known about Kurapika without you."

Kikuko paused, turning her head to look at him, only to see him facing the other direction. He was probably embarrassed. A smug smirk tugged at her lips. "Ha, so you think I'm badass don't you?"

"Get the hell out of here," she heard him scoff. Shuffling in his sheets, Killua craned his neck, and for the first time, Kikuko saw him smile. A muscle in her chest tugged at the sight. She wasn't smirking anymore. "Night, you lunatic."

The girl's throat felt dry. She wasn't sure how she was going to sleep with that smile engraved into her memories now, but through the turmoil and conflict in her mind, she managed to whisper, "Goodnight." 


	7. 06

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello (to my like 5 readers)! Hope you like this story so far. I’ll admit that I usually get more attention in my other stories than this, but I honestly don’t mind. I sincerely like writing this and it’s pretty therapeutic. To y’all who have stayed to read, thank you! Hope this fanfic lives up to your expectations!

Killua figured the potbellied bastard had it out for them. After all, why would he bother helping them when they broke into his home, stuck a knife to his neck, and knocked him unconscious? They should've just let Kikuko kill him then and there. 

"Crap!" Gon whined, sinking to the floor like a child. "Another scam!"

They were currently in the Dentora Region of the Republic of Padokea, wandering some town that resided near the testing gates of the Hunter exam. The buildings were small and the town was quiet. After searching through multiple stores and asking numerous pedestrians for the entire day, the trio had just about given up, slumping at the side of a bench near the harbor. Sailing boats moaned against the waves as fishermen lugged nets of sardines across the pier. Rays of sunlight were growing weak as they hid behind Kukuroo Mountain in the distance. Under the sunset, Kikuko's coral hair looked as if it were on fire.

Killua groaned, standing upright. "We've still got a chance. We haven't checked the east side of town—"

"It's useless. The old rat cheated us, _clearly_ ," Kikuko cut in, huffing a strand of red away from her eyes as she leaned her head back against the bench. A low rumble came from her stomach. "And we should probably get something to eat."

The boy's jaw tightened. "Are you kidding? We can't just give up! Besides, if you're so smart about liars and cheats, why didn't you call Sato out?"

The redhead's sea-green eyes narrowed at him. "I didn't say anything about being a pro-psychic or any of that! I'm just speaking logically!" She grumbled, closing her lids as she let the sunset shine on her fair skin. "Anyway, we haven't eaten anything all day. I think we're all starved by now."

"She's right," Gon agreed, sinking lower to the cobblestone ground with a frown. "We can worry about it tomorrow. Right now, all I can think about is food."

Killua was on the verge of arguing, but his stomach beat him to it. Glancing away to spare himself any of the smug faces, he grumbled, "All right, fine, _baka_. Let's get some food already."

Eventually, they came across some seafood restaurant down the street. It was quaint and vacant, the only sounds coming from the creak of the wood swing doors behind the bar. The room was dimly lit, exposing the faded paint on the clay walls and withered flowers decorating each table. On the counter was a small wooden figurine of a traditional spirit, the paint dull and tarnished. 

Kikuko stepped down, dragging a heavy chair against the stone floors noisily and plopping on it with the back pressed against her chest. "This place is like a ghost town."

Gon leaned in, inspecting the dust on the spirit figurine perched on the counter. "It looks sad. It wasn't like this two years ago."

Taking the seat beside Kikuko, Killua sighed. "Yeah, well, this place used to buzz about the Hunter Exam all the time. My guess is that ever since the chairman's death, people have been disheartened."

The girl next to him perked at the sound of that. "Old Man Netero? He's dead?"

He nodded. "Ever since the battle with the Chimera Ants. Why? Did you know him?"

The redhead stared off into the distance, a spacey look in her eyes. "Tch, you could say that. I fought him plenty a few deca—years back." She sunk lower into her seat, picking at the dirt beneath her nails. "Guess the old man's clock was running out of time after all . . . _cheeky bastard._ " She muttered the last part.

Killua wasn't sure whether it was spite or sadness in those eyes as she scowled to herself. He decided not to pry.

Soon enough, some middle-aged lady came out from the back to take their orders. She was a bit cranky and snippy, but in the end, they were served their dinner. Though the range of seafood at the restaurant retained to sardines and prawns, they were enough to satisfy Killua's raging stomach. After they each had their fill, they happened upon a motel near the dock. It had a cheap cost and was old, but the rooms were comfortable enough. Kikuko was given her own room across the hall. Although Killua was wary of letting the suspicious girl out of his sight, he figured one night without her would be okay. Besides, she hadn't been doing anything too questionable lately. 

As the night went on, Killua retired onto his bed beside Gon. The motel room was dark with only the light provided by the oil lamp on the nightstand and the creeping moonlight gleaming through the window. His friend lay quietly on his bed watching the ceiling as if it was playing some television program. Killua mimicked him, resting his arms just beneath his head. He studied the way the granules of the ceiling danced with each flicker of the flame.

"Do you think we'll find Kurapika?"

In the dark, Killua could barely see Gon, only the dark silhouette of his relaxed body and the shadows of the vines wrapped around the side of the building cast by the moonlight. 

"Yes, I know we will," Gon responded confidently.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because he's Kurapika, our friend. We'll find him."

". . . but do you want to?"

Gon was silent. The only thing you could hear in the night was the wind whistling harshly at the side of the motel and the distant waves crashing along the side of the harbor. Killua knew it was imprudent of him to say such a question, but he knew that what Kurapika was after wasn't like chasing rabbits on a daisy field. He was on a quest for revenge, a path of hatred. Whatever they were to see when they found him . . . well, Killua could only imagine. He was just wondering whether Gon knew what he was asking for. 

Finally, he said, "I don't care what we'll find. He's hurting and he's our friend, so we have to be there for him. We have to find him."

Killua smiled at that. He always wondered how Gon could always speak so surely at any given moment, but then again, he felt stupid for asking. Never had he ever met someone with as much undying determination and wit as Gon. Whenever he wanted something, he was sure to get it with sheer heart. It was one of the things he admired most about his friend. Finding those strong qualities were difficult to find in anyone these days. It felt like luck he stumbled upon someone like him.

Killua's mind drifted to the events yesterday. _Undying determination and wit_. The boy wasn't sure what prompted him to think of Kikuko out of the blue. Although he definitely didn't enjoy her company in the slightest, with her constant urge to start a fight or her unrelenting levels of _sass_ , he would be lying if he said she didn't possess those qualities. He had been quick to assess her, having nearly died on numerous encounters by the tip of her blade. She had forced her friendship on them, pestered him about trivial things, gave very _prominent_ threats, and the list seemed to go on forever. It was only reasonable that he loathed her existence.

Except that he didn't.

Kikuko was like sunshine in the rain, gems in dark, cold ravines, and smiles in a sea of tears. She left a terrible first impression: loud, obnoxious, rude, presumptuous, insensitive, ill-tempered, insane, and just outright _annoying_. The girl was a ruthless killer, liked to argue for the sake of arguing, had an appetite that could equate to three pro-wrestlers, and cried when things didn't go her way. Killua had _every right_ to hate her.

But she was unrelenting, stubborn to a fault, compassionate, ambitious even for the unknown, and smiled like she just won the marathon.

That part, Killua didn't hate completely.

It felt as if the night had left him behind, already getting ready for its rest without him. Gon was out cold, with the soft spring breeze crawling through the window and the chatter of the leaves wishing him a good night. But Killua didn't want to sleep. Not quite yet.

Jumping out of bed, he slid his feet into his sandals. Peeking out into the cobblestone corridor illuminated with weak oil lamps, Killua peered down both ends. Each step was quieter than the last as he approached the heavy wood door across his. What he hoped to achieve, the boy wasn't even sure himself, but something in his heart compelled him to do so. Just seconds before his knuckles could hit the door, he heard soft whimpers coming from the other side. Killua leaned closer to the door, not believing his ears.

Just on the other side was Kikuko in tears, and for _what_? The boy searched his brain for any warrant for this. It wouldn't be anything out of the ordinary: the redhead was very upfront and if she wanted you to know something, she would let you know, even if it meant crying in front of hundreds of people. But what Killua could hear on the other side of the door wasn't like any other whine or wail she had let out before. They were heart-shattering, pathetic _sobs_ , the type you release during late-night drives out or funerals for loved ones. God knows no assassin would be caught dead crying like that. But Kikuko was like no other assassin Killua had met.

Slowly backing away, he cursed to himself, feeling like he had intruded. Killua didn't want to mess with any affairs the girl had herself wrapped in with her foolhardiness and idiosyncrasies. He had quite a few issues he was dealing with on his own. It would be foolish to delve deeper into the life of Kikuko, the girl with strange habits and dark pasts. So, he backed into his room, shut the door, and went to sleep.

Or at least, he tried to sleep.

——

"Look at me, I caught a zombie!"

Killua glared at the redhead as she waved her fingers around his head like a joke. She was back to that dopey grin he hated, jumping up and down like a child. It didn't at all resemble the cries he heard the night before, making him question whether or not he imagined it. Had he lost his sleep for nothing?

"Hey, Sparky. You know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile, right?" Kikuko teased, sticking her tongue out.

"Shut up, asshole! I just couldn't sleep!" the boy grumbled as they walked down the main street. The seagulls were squawking about in the sky as the sun shone brilliantly through their feathers. There was a light breeze, good enough for sailing as the boats gathered at the harbor. The sea was glistening beautifully, much brighter than it was yesterday. Killua would've enjoyed it if he didn't have some _bitch_ taunting him like the first grade.

"Did you have bad dreams or something?" Gon chirped, leaning over to look at his friend who had clear bags under his eyes. 

"I don't get bad dreams," Killua waved off, slipping his hands into his pockets. "Anyway, I can just sleep on the ship. We'll have plenty of time on the sea."

His friend shrugged dismissively, running ahead to join Kikuko as she fooled around the food stands or walked along the port side with her arms spread wide. Honestly, it felt as if she was more a child than Gon was, and that was saying something. Killua guessed at least she was back to normal and not balling her eyes out like the night before. He wasn't sure if he could handle her having some mental breakdown all the way out of the Republic. 

Since their unfavorable realization that Kurapika wasn't within Padokea, they decided they would set out to the south of the continent near Swardani City. They figured if they were back at square one, might as well visit the city of the Hunter Association Headquarters. They were near certain they would receive nods or helpful hands from other Hunters they had met in the past. Perhaps they could shed some light on a few hopeless kids on a search for their friends chasing revenge for the death of his kin. Yeah, seemed like a good plan. 

Killua looked ahead, seeing how Gon leaned in toward a fruit stand, smiling with the merchant. To the side, Kikuko was making faces behind the lady to distract him. In the spring sunshine, her feathers were rich and vivid, flocking in the wind like the seagulls above. Unlike most days, she wasn't wearing her corduroy jacket she loved so much, and instead enjoyed the breeze whistling below her arms and through her wine-washed hair. 

_HONKKKKKK!_

The ship waiting at the side of the port was calling for them. Killua picked up his pace, kicking past Gon playfully as they approached the boat. His friend followed suit, trying to outrun him. Grinning, he pushed him back, jumping up to the bow of the ship proudly. 

"Hey! You cheated!" complained Gon at the floor of the dock, pointing a finger at him as the white-haired boy stuck his tongue out. 

Soon, the captain came on deck, grunting at the sight of them. "Ah, so you are our passengers this afternoon." He had a stout stature, sunburnt face, and eyebrows as thick as a thumb. With a pipe in his mouth, he leaned over the side, getting a look at Gon below as he waved. At the end of the pier stood Kikuko rummaging through her satchel a bit hastily. The captain made a low rumble at the back of his throat. "All right, hop on board. We ain't got all day!"

Gon looked back at Kikuko as she scoured through her satchel bag with a distressed look on her face. "Let's go, Ki-chan!"

"No, no, no, no, no," the redhead muttered, shifting her arm through her knapsack anxiously, the color from her face waning. She looked up, her eyes pricked with tears. "I can't get on that boat."

Killua furrowed his brows, hopping back down onto the dock. "Why? What's got you crying this time?"

The girl murmured to herself, ransacking her own bag like a lunatic. Heavy tears trickled down her cheeks like waterfalls. "M-My jacket! It's not here!"

The white-haired boy stared at her. "Your _jacket_? That's what you're so worked up about? We've got a boat to catch, we'll have to leave it."

" _No_! Y-You don't understand!" Kikuko cried, glaring at him. Her eyes were puffy red as she balled her fists. "Go ahead without me then, I'm not leaving until I find it!"

She stormed off the other direction back to solid ground, earning a groan from the boy. Gon shook his head, gazing up at the captain. "Sir, how long do you think we can hold off our sail?"

The croaky man grunted, raising his hand above his eyes to block the sunlight. "Er, well, it's about four hours pas' noon. I'd say just before sundown, and that's all I can give ya."

The boy nodded graciously. He faced Killua. "Come, we've got to help her if we want to get out here."

Killua had half the heart to say ' _Let's just leave her_ ,' but he figured Gon wasn't going to let that happen. So with a heavy sigh, he chased after the hysterical girl. When they caught up with her, she was already searching at the restaurant from that morning, checking beneath the seats and behind counters. 

"Okay, Ki-chan. Just calm down a bit. We'll find it," Gon eased, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Where have you gone all morning? I know you went out to buy supplies."

Kikuko sniveled pathetically, wiping away a stray tear building at the corner of her eye. "Well, the motel, the appliances store, the bookshop, and just about all the places you've gone."

Killua sighed, shifting his weight. He couldn't believe they were going through all this for just a silly jacket. Nevertheless, he didn't bring his opinion forth to spare himself anymore scolds or whines. "Then I'll check the motel."

He left shortly after. Getting to the motel was sooner than he anticipated, but he guessed it made sense due to the size of the town. After asking the receptionist, he scoured through Kikuko's room briefly. After no success, he rushed down the street to the seafood restaurant, asking the cranky waitress if she had seen the familiar corduroy. After she denied it adamantly, he left again. Rushing to the bookstore and checking every corner to no avail, Killua was starting to wonder if Kikuko had hidden it herself for whatever reason. Or perhaps she was just blind and it slipped her vision and it was lying peacefully in her satchel. 

The boy wasn't really fixed on the idea of wasting their time looking for a crusty old jacket that didn't even fit her. If he could just knock his friend unconscious and maybe (if he was feeling charitable) knock Kikuko out too, he could carry their limp bodies on board and have them wake up at Swardani. Sure, they wouldn't be too happy about it, but at least it was time well spent.

Killua laughed to himself over the silly plan. He wouldn't hear the end of it if he did such a preposterous thing. Still, this was taking longer than he would have liked. Deciding that he should go on a whim and hope the other two stumbled upon the jacket, Killua neared back to the harbor. Gon didn't appear to be anywhere in sight, but the sun was already beginning to dip behind the mountains. In the distance, crouched at the end of the dock was a familiar mop of coral locks. The scene was pathetic, almost as pathetic as the cries he had heard the night before. Now that he saw her like this, he could picture just what she looked like at that moment. Sad and . . . hopeless. 

_This isn't going to work_ , Killua thought to himself, though stupidly. The boy cared little about others' emotions or the minor troubles that everyone faced daily. He wouldn't give two shits about those who irked him, and most definitely people he hated. As a raised assassin, cunning in every area offered, it just made sense that his soul had grown callous to the basic function of the human heart.

So then _why?_ Why was a crazed killer like Kikuko emotional on every occasion, and why did it _bother_ him?

Tears weren't the face of pride. Killua guessed he didn't want to face his opponent who was wrecked by pitiful feelings, or at least that was what he told himself. If he was going to constantly fight or bicker or even _kill_ this lunatic, he wanted to do it when she was at her prime. Bring him back that loud, obnoxious, rude, presumptuous, insensitive, ill-tempered, insane girl who cared nothing more than to experience the bliss of battle. Sure, he hated that part of her plenty, but he couldn't help but want to see it as well. 

With a sigh, Killua turned on his heel to go on another scavenge for the musty old corduroy jacket. It seemed each step he took the farther down the sky the sun fell. Grunting in displeasure, he dashed up the motel steps without permission and burst through the bedroom door. He checked beneath the dresser, swept the corners, looked below the bed—it seemed as if it was never there. Suddenly, the boy stopped himself, looming over to look beneath the bed once again. Standing upright, he crossed the side and checked behind the frame. Sure enough, there the damned jacket was sandwiched between the wall and the wood. He nearly laughed to himself for being so stupid. How could he not have noticed?

Tugging the coat from behind the bed frame, his finger grazed the coarse material. Killua arched his brows, inspecting the fabric carefully: the burgundy faded color and the three once vibrant stripes now dull from exposure from the sun. Something about it in his hands felt . . . familiar, like he had held it in his hands before and even worn it on cold days. But that couldn't be. He had never seen that jacket once before in his life until he ran into Kikuko. But then why did it feel like it was his?

_HONKKKKK!_

"Shit," Killua cursed to himself, losing the train of thought he just had. Quickly, he dashed out of the motel, skidding at each corner, and making long strides along the side of the harbor. On the far side, he could see Kikuko standing at the pier again, the warmth of the sunset doing heavenly things to those flaming locks of hers as she restlessly gazed into the distance. Her tear-stained cheeks shimmered like gems turned to lava and her forest-green eyes nearly looked aqua with the pools of emotion welling in them. Something about it made his heart pound. It was probably excitement in leaving this damn town.

Shoes gliding against the end of the dock, Killua huffed, staring at the girl just on the other side. Ah yes, there was the lunatic he should've hated. She was like sunshine in the rain, gems in dark, cold ravines, and smiles in a sea of tears. She left a terrible first impression: a ruthless killer, a childish brat, a crybaby who went hysterical over a missing jacket. She had fire for hair, rainforests for eyes, and a smile that brought laughter with it. With the sun glowing against her radiant skin, something about her seemed to wash away any of the animosity Killua had grown so wary over.

Maybe he really didn't hate her.

"You . . ." Kikuko stared at him, her flushed, puffy cheeks regaining the brilliance they had lost.

Killua blushed, outstretching his arm for her to take it. "Yeah, well, I figured marooning you on this island would make Gon sad so—"

He didn't even get to finish himself as he felt her clumsy embrace. Her hug was warm and grateful, saying far more words than her loudmouth had managed to spew those past few weeks. Killua wasn't sure what to think, feeling the static in his brain and the lump in his throat that prevented him from getting himself out of that ridiculous situation. Maybe it was better that way.

As quickly as it happened, she let go, flashing a cheeky smile. It was genuine, lacking any mischief or smugness that he had grown accustomed to in the time they had known each other. "Thanks, Killua. I owe you one."

Maybe another time, he would've come up with some quip or smart-ass retort, but he forced himself to stay quiet. Everything about her, from the way she spoke to the way she fought, Killua should've hated her. With her urge to argue redundantly, cry pathetically, or grin pridefully, he should've _hated_ her.

But she was unrelenting, stubborn to a fault, compassionate, ambitious even for the unknown, and smiled like she just won the marathon. It seemed to wash away the animosity that he had assigned to her. Perhaps something in him wanted to find more than just this, and maybe, just maybe, he was hoping to come across something he could grow fond of.

_And the thought terrified him._


	8. 07

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late lol. I've been focusing more on my other fanfiction Unthawed. You can go check it out if you want. Anyway, hope you enjoy this lil angsty one :)
> 
> Toodles!

Living a life strictly made for predetermined love tends to put people in perspective of their place in existence. Typically, those with kindred spirits feel special, or perhaps as delusional as _needed_ in the course of time. After all, why would the celestial beings from above go as far as to pick fated and choose how they got to live their lives? 

Kikuko wouldn’t go as far as to say she was _special_ , but it was clear the universe found amusement in her creation. One thing she had been certain of since her eyes caught the light of the sun was that the universe was cruel. It toyed with and belittled people’s lives like a petty game. She guessed that the only way to win was to play to wit's end. 

For the longest time, that had been on her mind. The _only_ thing on her mind. The only thing she _wanted_ on her mind. 

But of course, it was a game of wits, wasn’t it? And who could be a more worthy opponent than the universe itself?

April 17th, 1:36 pm, springtime, their eyes had met. Gentle pools of sapphire embraced her, filling her lungs, caressing her face. She thought it had been the last time she would have ever seen her, but the world was full of surprises. Kikuko hated surprises. 

_Oh, beautiful you, the first time I had laid eyes on you, you’re heart had been shattered._

“Ki-chan!”

Kikuko was ripped from her dream by the face of Gon smiling over her. She squinted, blinded by the rays of light creeping through the curtains. “Eh?” the girl grunted, rubbing her sleepy eyes. 

“C’mon, Ki! We’re going out around the city!” the gleeful boy exclaimed, probably oblivious to the ruckus he was making so early in the morning. The night before, they had arrived at Swardani City with its bustling streets and luminescent city lights. They had somehow found a way to retire at an elegant hotel suite by the use of Gon and Killua’s Hunter licenses. They all were bunked in the same room, a small divider set between the boys side and Kikuko’s, but there was no fuss in finding their designated sleeping areas. They all fell asleep accordingly with heavy lids and dragging feet as the day came to a rest.

The redhead lurched forward sluggishly, feeling her muscles slowly wake up along with her. A huge yawn escaped her lips, forcing morning tears from her eyes. “Can’t we get some breakfast at least? I’m so hungry.”

“We’ll get some while we’re out,” the boy waved off, grabbing her by the wrists as he hauled her out of bed. With a tumble and a ground-shaking crash, Kikuko had finally gotten out of bed . . . on the marble flooring. Gon laughed, helping her drowsy figure upright as if she were a rag doll. Then, walking to the doorframe, he craned his neck to look at her. “Get dressed and meet us in the lobby. Today’s supposed to be fun!”

Hm, fun. The most relatable thing she had pertaining to _fun_ of recent years had been plotting elaborate deaths for her victims. No misunderstandings necessary, Kikuko most definitely found that enjoyable, but she guessed that wasn’t the type of thing Gon was thinking of. She pondered how long ago she had experienced the fun of a child.

_I used to have fun with you all the time. Never would I have imagined the thrill of life I experienced until I met you. You were an angel, and I just happened to walk by._

She hadn’t intended to save her. Things just wound up as they did. Had Kikuko not been passing by that alleyway that day, would they have even crossed paths? Probably not.

Maybe it would have been better that way.

The redhead had been walking a couple of blocks down the road from the Smoking Saucer, completely unfazed by the diverse crowd roaming the streets. With a book in her left hand and her pack in her right, she strode down the sidewalk in peace. It was an enjoyable spring day with the sun out and the breeze blowing her locks just right. It would have been a perfect day, but things don’t always quite follow suit.

“Stop it! Leave me alone!”

Through her peripherals, Kikuko could see the shadow of a scuffle going down in the narrow alley to her right. It was musty and rancid. Nobody really bothered sparing a glance in that direction, even after hearing the struggles of a mere schoolgirl crying for help.

Kikuko turned to her right, watching as two scum had placed their dirty hands on her, how they treated her like worthless garbage when they were the ones lurking in the dumpsters. One tauntingly snagged a book from the poor girl's bag, waving it around the air as the other stupid one clutched her honey-blonde locks roughly.

“Ah, what’s this?” The lanky one cackled at her tears as he tore through the pages. Those beautiful jewels that Kikuko had encountered only earlier that day flashed through her memories. With each droplet of pain escaping the blonde’s eyes, she felt more and more convicted to do something. After all, what was the harm in killing two useless perverts who were only going to do the worst to someone as helpless as her?

On April 17th, 3:48 pm, springtime, Kikuko made her first mistake.

Before the lanky scum could even raise his hand once more, the two associates collapsed to the cold asphalt, skulls cracking on impact. Pools of rich crimson flooded the alley floors as the poor victim stared at her own reflection. Then slowly, with trembling white knuckles, she trailed her gaze to meet eyes with the second reflection standing across from her.

It only takes six seconds for the mind to comprehend situations like this, a bit longer for those psychologically weaker. But somehow, the girl had been born acknowledging fear and trauma as her friends. At the time, Kikuko didn’t know why, but she thought nothing of it.

Crumbling to her knees, the schoolgirl let waterfalls pour from her tear ducts. Her savior was in awe at the amount of water one insignificant girl could produce. 

With a huff, Kikuko kneeled across from her in the puddle of blood. “You’re safe now. No need to cry."

Perhaps it was because she was finally getting a good view of the girl’s face, but she just seemed to realize how captivating her tear-stained, traumatized face looked. Honey baby hairs curled across her sweaty temples, sapphire gemstones taking the place of her innocent dough eyes, and rosy, wet cheeks puffed like a child crying over a toy.

“W-Who are y-you?”

Kikuko stood up, viewing her damaged quivering form. Under her shabby, corduroy jacket was a worn and dirt-stained school uniform, now soaking from the blood of those vermin. Shaking her head, Kikuko managed a sigh. “Doesn’t matter. You should get up now before anyone else comes creeping around these alleys. It isn’t safe for a girl like you.”

“B-But, you’re a girl too!”

Kikuko narrowed her eyes at her remark, noticing the way her already pink cheeks would deepen in color at her hard gaze. Kikuko reckoned she must’ve felt embarrassed. Tucking a messy blonde lock behind her ear, the girl gazed back into the pool of blood beneath them. “T-Thank you.”

The 12-year-old savior paid no mind to her gratitude, already on her way out of the wretched passage to avoid any collateral damage that may come along with playing hero for a day. Besides, she had been expecting to run across a certain someone that day, someone destined to be at the edge of her blade. However, before she could even reach past shadows cast by the building beside her, unsteady footsteps followed behind her swishing in the puddles of red.

“W-Wait!”

And so, April 17th, 3:51 pm, springtime, she had made her second mistake. _Listening_. 

The useless girl staggered to her side, staring intensely back at her forest jade eyes. No hint of trauma was left in her ethereal, glistening orbs, which was the most intriguing thing to happen to someone as weak as her. The ray of light that managed to creep into her sapphire eyes seemed to animate life itself in one glance. And the most unlikely thing sparked a flame in Kikuko’s soul. 

The girl smiled. “My name is Aimi!”

3:52 pm, her heart had made the decision before she could even say no. One decision to make it all go in flames.

“I’m Kikuko.”

_You were an angel, but angels are meant to live in heaven. I wished I hadn’t passed by that alley on that day._

“I’m so hungry,” Kikuko whined, dragging her feet against the pavement, her words slurring together like a drunk.

"We just ate breakfast! You're already hungry?" Killua exclaimed, staring at her absurdly. The sun was dancing in the sky with waves of heat beaming down on the trio (quartet if you wanted to include Joji straggling behind in the heatwave). Indeed, they had just left the restaurant not twenty minutes ago, but Kikuko seriously was not feeling on par with her hunger.

"It's not my fault! I wouldn't be having such a growth spurt if it weren't for—" She stopped herself short, biting her tongue hard. Folding her arms in aggravation, she muttered to herself. "Stupid boys, stupid puberty, stupid stomach . . ."

"It's all right, Ki-chan," Gon laughed nervously, trying to diffuse the tension, even though the two could very clearly see the silent death threats being sent through their glares. "How about we stop by some cafe. We'll buy a snack to share."

Begrudgingly, the two agreed with him and went to the closest cafe past the intersection. It looked like one of those places you’d catch photos of to be trendy with aesthetic latte designs and festive lights embellishments—the place you’d catch Joji raving about. Upon entering, Kikuko's nostrils were filled with the scent of freshly baked pastries and brewing black coffee. The atmosphere was quiet with only five other customers and the soft coffeeshop music playing in the background.

"Table for three?" 

The trio glanced down to see the rather short elderly lady staring at them harshly as if serving children was the most barbaric thing to do. 

"Yes—"

"For four, actually," Kikuko cut the light-haired boy off. Killua gave her a ridiculing side glance, which didn't go unnoticed by the worker. She shrugged it off anyway and gestured them to their table.

"What was that for?" Killua asked when they were seated. 

The redhead sighed, gesturing with her eyes to Joji beside her. "You're going to insult him. Do you _want_ him to start possessing people?!"

"He can just float!"

"Excuse me, I'm not deaf!"

"I always get him a seat, you asshole—"

"Okay! Let's order!" Gon interrupted, slapping the menu on the table. That seemed to shut up the dispute momentarily. Of course, it wasn't the only reason. The two could clearly see that the fighting was getting on the sweet boy's nerves, so there seemed to be a silent truce between the two. 

It wasn't long before their snacks were brought forth. Small warm bites that could fill your mouth with the feeling of happiness were freshly served on a platter. Kikuko was seconds away from taking her share before her eyes caught sight of the pile of chocolate puff pastries. Killua happily plopped one into his mouth eyes closed with satisfaction. Suddenly noticing her watching him, he slowly picked one up, offering it to her. "D'you want one? It's for everyone anyway."

The coral-haired girl blinked at his offer, completely taken aback by the sudden turn of friendliness. Or perhaps, she was reminded of the striking resemblance he had to a once gentle angel wrapped in her dark past. 

"Oi, I'm not going to be so charitable if you just stare at me like that," Killua sighed impatiently, shifting in his seat a bit uncomfortable with her piercing forest eyes. Numbly, Kikuko took the pastry from his hands and nibbled at it quietly. She wasn't all that hungry anymore. 

_The stark difference you two hold, yet at the same time, you always lead me back to the same conclusion._

"You like reading?" The blonde peeked over her book with curious blue eyes.

By habit, Kikuko shielded the prints of her page in suspicion. She sighed, scratching her head coyly. "I was always told I wasn't the brightest whenever it came to mathematics, but reading is just easy for me. So yeah, I guess you could say I like reading."

Aimi smiled at her subtle joke, falling back to her seat to watch her from across the table. "You know, you're probably the nicest assassin I've ever come across."

Kikuko let out an incredulous laugh. "As if you run into those daily." She shook her head. "I'm only letting you tag along because I think you can be funny."

The blue-eyed girl narrowed her eyes with mischief. "Still, you _did_ save me in that alley two weeks back. That's more than what most people would do."

Kikuko stared at her quietly, studying her tired pretty eyes as she slumped in her seat. She wasn't dense—she could tell that Aimi was referring to something far crueler than harassment, but she didn't ask. Besides, it seemed like both their boundaries were known between each other. Neither had asked each other about their questionable backgrounds or how they came to be in their situation of traveling the world and avoiding adulthood. What they both knew was that they were both runaways in some way, and that was all they needed to pack up on a journey together. 

"Ah, yes, I know I'm a wonderful person. Just don't let your imagination get the best of you," Kikuko waved off sarcastically, to which Aimi laughed at. 

After a pause of silence, the honey-haired girl chirped up, giving a sheepish grin. "Hey, Kuko?"

"Mm?"

"Are we friends?"

Kikuko gazed up from her book, staring at her in silence. The word sounded fresh in her mind. It felt as if decades had passed since she had heard that word, which in fact, it had. Probably because of her lack of remorse for her impulses, or maybe it was because she tended to go on hurting people without turning back. Every friend she had, she always was ahead of them. Who would want to keep up with a psychopathic assassin with an insatiable grudge against the universe itself anyway? 

Aimi apparently.

"I thought we already were." Kikuko rolled her eyes, looking back to her book dismissively.

The girl stumbled over her words. "W-Well, yes, of course!" She was gushing with joy, practically bursting in her seat about to combust. 

Kikuko furrowed her brows in concern. "What are you going on about? You wanted an initiation or something?"

Aimi breathed, a grin as bright as pearly sand shining at her like heaven itself. She always wondered how she could light a room like that. "Oh, yes, please!" Grabbing a chocolate pastry puff from her platter, she ripped it down the middle, giving one half to Kikuko as she took the other. Tentatively, the redhead took it from her. Aimi smiled, declaring their friendship. "By decree, I hereby declare Kikuko and Aimi as friends! You may now eat your pastry."

Shaking her head with a smile, Kikuko scarfed down the pastry with her newly made friend. "You're weird, Aimi."

"Well, now you're stuck with me!"

 _What a silly game we played. It was foolish of me to believe we were the only ones playing_.

The city life proved to be quite lame. For teenagers with the inexplicable power capacity of nen-masters, it could be difficult to entertain them with merely mundane activities. Nevertheless, the three friends tried their best to enjoy the views of the national monuments and said phenomenal artworks. Joji was absolutely entranced by the sightseeing, so nobody really had the heart to soil his excitement. Actually, Kikuko had come dangerously close numerous times but was hastily interjected by Killua in order to prevent an angry spirit from wreaking havoc on the unassuming metropolis. 

It was hardly past noon and the sun was beaming high in the sky clouded by the shadows of skyscrapers. All walks of life strolled down the streets as vehicles ranging from buses to Bugattis veered down the pavement. Amidst the crowd was the group of friends tailing Joji as he babbled about the origins of some building’s infrastructure. 

Kikuko grumbled, feeling the glare of the sun poking at her eyes. Her hair was a greasy mess and her hands were clammy with sweat despite her only wearing a tank top for once. With her faded jacket tied around her waist and her leather bag slung over her shoulder, the girl figured she looked just like those lead female characters in those exploring exhibition movies, only not nearly as hot as them. “Is it just me, or did the sun decide to amp the heat by ten degrees?”

Gon, being the maniac he was, continued to wear his little boy shorts and bright green jacket. He hadn’t even begun to break a sweat. “Ki-chan, you don’t do so well in the heat, do you?”

She fixed her coral locks into a sloppy ponytail, tucking a curly strand behind her ear. “Well, generally where I was raised it snowed a lot, but even when it was summer we didn’t get heatwaves like this. It’s only April—what the hell is the sun acting up about?”

Killua also seemed rather unfazed by the radiation bearing down on them like an Easy-Bake Oven, but he took the courtesy of dressing appropriately in his lilac tee and black shorts. “You know, Kikuko, I would’ve thought as an assassin you were given the proper conditioning to endure different climates.”

The redhead gave a side glare. “You know, Sparky, you may not believe it, but you’re not the traditional assassin. That Zoldyck clan of yours has quite the reputation for intense prep.”

It was true. At the mention of Killua’s surname, Kikuko could naturally understand how he came to attain his unorthodox skillset. In fact, she was certain a time before when her father was still by her side that they had visited the Zoldyck mansion for some ‘discussion’ of the sorts. She could hardly remember because it was nearly 70 years ago and Killua’s father probably hadn’t even been born yet. But the family had been infamous for their traditions that others looked upon in awe. Though, that didn’t necessarily mean the training for other assassins was any less brutal. 

Killua scoffed, setting his gaze forward. “Tsk, okay sure.”

They came to an abrupt stop as Kikuko ran into Gon's back harshly. "Ow!" She rubbed her nose, noticing their surroundings in the main square of Swardani. To the left of them was the vast springs stretching for meters across the park. Fountains sprouted in the middle of the pools accordingly as children splashed at the rims playfully upon the grass. Streaks of light shone through the leaves of the maple trees lining the park as squirrels skittered from branch to branch. Kikuko's breath was caught in her throat at the sight of the children messing around, suddenly feeling nostalgic for some lost memory. "Oh . . ."

Joji floated giddily behind the gates as they peered into the park. "This is Komodo Park, in which they used to save komodo dragons in the past and set them here. It's now a monumental park in honor of that and is a great place for families."

The three friends gaped at the spring waters, feeling the misty breeze all the way past the railing. Gon jabbed a finger inside. "Can we go in the water?"

The spirit scratched the nape of his nonexistent neck. "Uh, well, people don't commonly jump _inside_ the springs, but children often play along the shore. We can check it out if you guys—"

"Okay!" the boy chirped before he could finish, leading the group around the block to find the entrance. After rounding the plaza, they eventually came upon the opening. Families and friends were coupled in little picnics beside trees, enjoying the springtime heat as the mist of the waters wafted to their faces. The reservoir glimmered against the sunlight like a fountain straight from the heavens. Children scrambled around in the grass, occasionally launching water from their palms at each other. Being the few kids without parents, the trio probably looked out of place. 

Killua pointed to a small patch of land on the far side just beside a tree across from a sudden plateau of water. "That seems like a good place to settle."

Nobody argued as they walked along the coast. Nightingales gave a pleasant tune as they passed, flittering through the leaves and soaring with the wind. As they reached their plot of land, Gon wasted no time removing his outer attire. Carelessly tossing his jacket and boots into Kikuko's face, he splashed the shallow waters with a mighty jump, running around the springs like the child he was. 

Kikuko scrunched her nose, throwing his clothes to the grass after smelling his foul athlete's foot and choking in disgust. Beside her, she could hear the snickering of the boy's friend. She glared at him. "Shut up!"

"What? I didn't say anything!" Killua raised his arms in defense, though his smug look of amusement hadn't wavered. 

The girl stomped her foot with a pout. "You don't need to! You said it in your head which means you said it."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

In the springs with his tank top drenched and his hair flattened, Gon laughed, waving forward for them to join him. "C'mon guys! It's nice in here!"

"Eheh . . ." Kikuko raised her arms, backing away and tossing her stuff to the patch of land they were standing upon. "No thanks, I think I'll settle with Joji—AH!"

Feeling hands roughly shove her forward, she tripped over her boots and crashed into the freezing waters. Her shoes flooded, her jeans grew dark at the knees, and her dampened locks almost looked brown. Clenching her jaw, Kikuko whipped her head around after hearing the shameless laughter of Killua behind her. He doubled over, holding his knees for support as he pointed a finger at her. 

"Asshole! You're not funny!"

"Oh, really?" Killua finally brought his head back up, eyes pricking with happy tears. Kikuko was seconds from screaming bloody murder with the park filled with children and families, but the moment he flashed that ever so bright grin, she shut up immediately. 

_You're ruthless. You take and you take and you take_.

"Kuko! Look here!"

The redhead glanced with alarm at Aimi as she immersed herself in the waterfalls. They had left York New City about two weeks before, traveling the country in hopes of coming across something interesting to do. However, Kikuko wasn't expecting the blonde to carelessly jump head-first into an unknown body of water like a maniac. "Are you crazy? What if there are leeches?!"

Aimi giggled, cupping a handful of water and throwing it up to the bridge. "Come down here, you fool!"

Kikuko grimaced, furrowing her brows. Since the moment she had met Aimi, she wasn't quite sure what in her mind compelled her to act in such a ludicrous way. Now, the assassin never really had friends her age, so maybe it was just her lack of understanding on how to let loose. But to charge in stupidly at any given opportunity? Get the hell out of here.

"No way! I'm not getting hypothermia!" she refused adamantly.

"Kuko~!" Aimi whined, stamping her foot in defiance. There was a heavy silence that followed as the redhead proudly raised her chin the other direction. Thinking to herself, Aimi suddenly grinned mischievously, tapping her chin in contemplation. "Okay, if you're so scared then fine. I never thought that an assassin would be such a _baby_."

Kikuko's eyebrow twitched in irritation as she whirled around, hands clamped onto the wood railing with white knuckles. Knowing she tugged the right string, Aimi smiled at her triumphantly, daring her to join her. Without a second thought, the redhead kicked over the side of the bridge and plunged into the stream. The mist of the waterfall crashing beside them made the water course freely and coldly like ice. The girl shivered, immediately regretting her impulsive decisions.

Aimi just laughed at her expression, aiming a teasing finger at her as she stifled her giggles. Kikuko pouted. "Quit it!"

The blonde paid no mind, launching a wave of water in her direction, completely drenching her. It broke into an all-out war of waves, splashing rivulets and tsunamis over each other as if they were merely children without the burdens of the world on their shoulders, and in fact, they were.

Laughter echoed across the smooth stones and nightingales chirped with joy at the effervescent atmosphere that couldn't go unnoticed. But alas, the only thing that caught Kikuko's attention was that gracious smile she couldn't help but grow drawn to.

_Your words . . ._

_Your eyes . . ._

_Your smile_. . .

Killua smirked in victory, crossing his arms as if he were the king of the land and his mere subjects drowned in the springs below. Kikuko growled, balling her fists. "Don't get so cocky now . . ."

In her hands, a ball of energy gathered between her fingers. With a mighty punch to the air, her nen hurtled straight toward the boy like a missile. Effortlessly, Killua cocked his head to the side, dodging the nen projectile like he had known it to come for centuries. He raised a brow at her, his complacent smile still tugging at his lips. "Nen? Really? You think I wouldn't have realized—"

Before he could finish, the ball of aura circled around like a boomerang, knocking him straight in the back of his head. Tripping forward, he tumbled into the springs head-first, soaking himself entirely, socks and all. Whipping his head up outraged he pinned his glare on the girl beside him, but she couldn't seem to take him seriously with his hair wet and looking like a sheepdog.

Kikuko burst into hearty laughter, kicking a wave of water straight to him. "Yeah, Sparky, you don't like it do you?"

Killua slapped his hand across the water, sending her back a few meters as if a natural wave formed in the pond. Regular families and visitors stepped away from the springs warily, but the kids causing the ruckus paid no mind, even after the exasperated cries from Joji on the land. 

"Killua, Ki-chan!" Gon exclaimed, suddenly joining the fight, but he toned it down to a much smaller degree.

Kikuko grinned, charging straight at them, tackling them into the pool like animals and feeling the fresh bubbles kiss their skin. In the crystal clear depths, she could see the luminescent gleam of the angelic face she had once known all those decades ago. Hastily, Kikuko surfaced, filling her lungs with the fresh air and hearing the song of the birds in the trees above. As the sun cast rays of warmth on their faces, she glanced at Killua seeing that smile she knew from long ago in another lifetime. And then the horrid feeling of sunshine illuminated the dark caverns of her heart deep within her soul that _horrified_ her because, inevitably, she couldn't help but want to see more. 

_. . . her words . . ._

_. . . her eyes . . ._

_. . . her smile . . ._

_I hate you so much._


	9. 08

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, sorry this was soooooooo late. I've been so busy with schoolwork. It's been a hectic few weeks, but I managed to squeeze this cute chapter in so hope you enjoy! 

"Your . . . dad?"

"Mhm!" Gon beamed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "I'll have to meet up with him early afternoon if that's all right with you guys."

They had been staying in Swardani for nearly two weeks at that point, training, searching for leads on Kurapika, or occasionally finding something to do in the meantime. It wasn't the most productive they had been frankly, but after the whole scam with Sato, they were wary of running into more dead ends and failed attempts. 

In the short time they had been there, Killua and Gon had run into some old friends like Wing-san and Knuckle during training, both of who had yet to be acquainted with their new addition to the team (which may or may not had to do with Killua sending her off each time). He hadn’t intended to be half as rude about it—Kikuko just got _way_ too competitive when it came to sparring. So, whenever one or the other went to improve their skills, the other wouldn’t be in sight. He didn’t hear much more than a whine about it, so he assumed it didn’t bother her too much. 

They were finishing their brunch when Gon got a call from his father, announcing his afternoon plans. Killua shrugged indifferently. "Sure. Go ahead." After their long-awaited reunion, Ging and Gon had been forming a relationship, reaching for each other when one was in town. He had met his father on multiple occasions. He was a rather boorish man and had little patience for tedious things that didn't concern him, but it was clear Gon looked up to him, so Killua allowed him to make time. 

Kikuko slouched in her seat with a sigh. "Man, I don't know what I'm going to do today," she lamented. Her eyes brightened suddenly as she sat forward, looking at Gon. "Do you think your dad will mind if I tag along?"

The boy placed his hands on his chin. "Well, I don't necessarily think Ging will care—he didn't when Killua came." There was this slight hitch in his words that Killua couldn't help but notice. It took him a moment to realize that Gon didn't want her to come, though he was trying his best to be nice. It probably had little to do with Kikuko herself. Any kid would want to spend time with their long-lost parent alone to bond, and having some stranger there wouldn't exactly set the tone. 

Killua cleared his throat. "Ah, why can't you just spend your day with Joji, huh?"

The redhead grumbled, resting her head on the table broodily. "Can't. He's still mad about the incident in Komodo Park."

"Still? It's been weeks!"

"Yeah well, it's difficult, okay!" Kikuko exasperated, throwing her arms in the air. "He's got a mind of his own and I can't always just call him out like a dog. It's almost like—I don't know—he's _growing._ "

Gon sat back in his seat, taking a mighty bite out of his eggs. "Why don't you just apologize, Ki-chan? I'm sure he'll forgive you."

She stared at him incredulously as if he just asked her to juggle plates. "Absolutely not. No way."

"Of course," Killua rolled his eyes, taking a sip from his orange juice. Kikuko probably had never apologized for a thing in her life. No wonder Joji was constantly upset with her.

"He'll come around. He always does," the girl waved off reassuringly, more so to herself than to them. She gazed up at Gon, resting her chin in her palms. "Anyway, I thought we were going to train today. Are we canceling?"

Killua almost spat his juice out. He slammed his hand against the table, earning attention from more eyes than he intended. Feeling his face flush slightly, he glared at his friend. "You've been training with her? _Alone?!_ " It wasn't that he felt petty or left out. He just genuinely was nervous around Kikuko because he didn't trust her, especially since she took an interest in their nen. That was probably the main reason why he preferred that Gon and he trained away from her. He was certain Gon had only been training with him where he was safe, but by the way she had said it, he probably had been making time with her as well. 

"Quit acting so butthurt," Kikuko scoffed at him. "Gon's just been being nice because _you_ don't want to do anything with me."

" _Obviously_! You're insane!"

" _Guys_ ," Gon mediated before anything could arise. He gazed at Kikuko. "We'll probably have to reschedule. Sorry, Ki, I don't usually get to see him." He turned to Killua. "And _yes_ , Killua, I have been training with her. You should try sometime. She's good at teaching me how to emit my nen."

The white-haired boy scrunched his nose at the thought. Just imagining the way she would obliterate the side of the gym . . . Damn, he had to keep a closer eye on her now. The girl shrugged her shoulders, cocking her head to her side. "But do you think your old man will mind if I come?"

Gon scratched the back of his neck. "Eheh, well I'm sure—"

"Fine, you can train with me, brat," Killua blurted before his friend could answer. He almost couldn't believe he had asked Kikuko to train with him. _Willingly_. Masking his vexation, he closed his eyes, resting his arms behind his head. "Let Gon have this day with his dad."

Kikuko didn't seem too satisfied with this solution but shrugged it off anyway. Gon smiled brightly, clapping his hands together in delight. "Great! It's settled."

The two others glared at each other over their glasses of orange juice, daring the other to object. Unfortunately, no one said anything.

——

"You're the worst training partner ever."

Killua groaned for the ninth time that hour. He narrowed his eyes at her as she loomed over his strained body. "Shut up. What am I on?"

"Fourteen," she brushed off, leaning back upright. "If I'd known I was just going to be spotting for you while you try to get jacked, I would've just summoned Joji and tried to do something that seemed the least bit enjoyable."

Killua grunted as he raised the bar one last time and placed it back on the stand. Sitting up, he stretched his shoulders, feeling the soreness of his muscles weighing down on him. "Hey, I said I'd spot for you right after!"

Kikuko scoffed. "I never said I wanted to weightlift." She faked a gag, sticking her tongue out. "That's just for people who want to look bulky."

Killua raised a brow, wiping his hand across his forehead in astonishment. "It's just to build muscle. What's so terrible about it?"

She almost laughed. "Like _you_ need more muscle, Sparky." She stopped herself, slapping her hands against her cheeks in a rush of panic. "N-Not that I think that your muscular o-or that I care or that I even l-looked for that matter." Killua felt his ego float slightly, but he didn't bother trying to tease her embarrassment—she was doing that fine on her own. Kikuko glanced away, her face combatting the hue of her locks. "You've already got enough power with that nen of yours is what I meant!"

"Sure," the boy shrugged smugly, turning away.

"Hey, I mean it!" she scowled, stepping over and whacking the back of his head harshly.

"Gah, woman! Calm down!"

Kikuko huffed, crossing her arms indignantly. They received a few stares from other people working out at their small dispute. Killua grimaced, staring at her through his peripherals. It seemed like wherever they went they always managed to cause a scene.

The redhead sighed, twisting her feather absentmindedly. "I'm just saying usually guys with fragile masculinities like to weightlift because it makes them feel empowered, but when it comes to the battlefield, they're all a bunch of wusses."

Killua tossed the thought around in his head. He figured it made sense. Many of the men he faced in battles that were burly were quite arrogant, thinking they could pluck him off his feet because they looked supposedly 'manly.' Considering Kikuko was a girl who could probably fold him if she genuinely tried (though Killua would never admit it aloud), he figured she had faced plenty of misogynists who thought they could quash her with sheer muscle. But then again, her views on weightlifting barely skimmed his power capacity. 

"Yeah well, it can't hurt me because _I know_ I'll win."

He earned another smack to the head.

After Kikuko 'helped' Killua finish his last few sets, he reluctantly agreed to spar a few rounds with her. As he stepped onto the mat, he watched as she stretched with a giddy smirk plastered across her lips. He immediately regretted his decision. She was going to have way too much fun with this.

Standing upright with a sigh, she walked over to her side. "Let's make it interesting. How bout a bet?"

"No nen or special abilities, right?" Killua asked, running his fingers through his hair as he completely ignored her suggestion. 

"Yup," she answered, fixing her coral locks into a ponytail. She bounced on her toes, put her guard up, and glared at him through her arms. "What about the loser buys the winner candy?"

Killua stared at her incredulously. "Sure. Whatever. What if we tie?"

Kikuko stopped shuffling. "We both buy each other candy?"

"That wouldn't make sense," he deadpanned. Where did he have this conversation before? He snorted a bit. "That defeats the whole purpose, idiot."

The redhead tapped her chin in contemplation before jabbing a thumb at him. "Best out of five. No exceptions. If we tie, we go another round."

Killua shrugged, getting into a stable position on his end of the mat. "All right, seems fair."

That crooked smile stretched on her rosy lips made his blood boil for some reason. Probably because of the fact she was going to find enjoyment if he were in pain, he had no doubts. Well . . . two could play at that game. For once, rather than scowling at her like he usually did, he smirked right back. Something about it set her off.

"Wipe that grin off your face before I wipe it on the floor."

"Guess you'll have to."

Kikuko grimaced, and with no starting cue, she charged forward. Her jabs were quick and firm, barely grazing his skin with each thrust. Killua eluded her punches, for the most part, and swiftly retreated to the other side into a stable stance. 

This time, she stopped and waited for his move. _Sensible_ , he thought. Bouncing on his stance, he hopped from side to side on his feet, twisting into a kick when he jumped. Kikuko dropped into a crouch before immediately countering when he landed, hooking her leg around his and grabbing him by the waist. With one mighty heave, she thrusting him forward onto his front. Just as he felt her trying to secure her victory, he reached behind him and lugged her forward by the neck of her shirt. She collapsed on her back in one full swing.

While she was dazed, Killua wasted no time in fastening her to the ground. With his knee clamped over her arm and straddling her in her spot, she was rendered immobile. A victorious grin stretched across his lips as her penetrating forest eyes bore into him. "Round one goes up to me—"

Before he could get his word out, his throat was yanked back by a calf, knocking him flat on his back. Killua groped at her ferocious grip, trying to find an opening in the choke hold, but after a prolonged moment of trying to breathe, he slammed his palm against the mat.

Finally, Kikuko released her deathly leg grip and rolled out of the clambering limbs. She puffed her bangs away from her eyes, glancing over her shoulder at him. "The Harbor Hold—pretty reliable, but I found a loophole to that years ago."

Killua grumbled as he stared at the stale light above, running his fingers across his neck in contemplation of the hold she had on him. For a second there, he was almost convinced she wasn't going to stop. If she just continued to choke him, would he ever find a way out of that? Would he have just died?

"Sparky."

The boy snapped from his trance, noticing her curious gaze linger on him. "Let's finish this sparring match, yeah? I'm thinking I'll want some chocolate."

Killua scowled, hopping back to his feet immediately. "No way. _I'll_ be getting chocolate."

Kikuko gave a cheeky smile that didn't fail to get his blood pumping with heat. And with that, they both charged forward. 

——

"I'm sure there's a candy shop somewhere around here." Kikuko loomed around the corner of the intersection, a delightful smile gracing her rosy lips. Killua scoffed, resting his arms behind his head.

"Why don't you just search up the location on your phone or something."

"I don't have one. I thought I told you this already."

Killua whipped his head over at her. "So you just don't care about keeping up with friends?"

Kikuko shook her head slowly, rubbing her chin. "I think it's the other way around." She shrugged it off quickly. "Anyway, I thought I saw a display on the way here, so let's go."

After strolling down the hectic streets of Swardani and turning around just about each block, Killua was certain the girl was just leading him around for a sick prank. She had been just about as arrogant as a peacock since she sealed her victory in the added round after their draw, and quite frankly, it only made him loathe her more than he already did. The boy was only moments from blurting out some insult when Kikuko squealed, "There!"

Like a maniac, she ran through the streets bustling with traffic, simply hopping over cars if they were in the way like mere stones. Honks and shouts followed her, but she ignored them, landing on the platform on the other side of the street. Killua groaned, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. Surely the longer he stayed with her the more wrinkles of stress she was going to leave on him. 

After waiting for the crosswalk to signal a green light, Killua joined Kikuko on the other side as she pressed her face up against the glass. The redhead grinned at him, jabbing her finger inside at the display. "They've got the new editions of ChocoRobo-kun!"

That was all it took for her to get his attention. Killua's sharp gaze honed in on the display, eyeing the gold-embroidered boxes and glinting silver robots. Inside the store were crowds charging toward the cashier, wads of jenny crumpled in their waving hands. Despite the store overflowing with people, the shelves were still lined with boxes and boxes of chocolate robots just waiting to be opened. "No way. How are they not sold out?! I had to pay nearly 8 million jenny for last edition!"

Kikuko raised a brow, turning toward him. "You watched the show? You know, it's pretty old."

The boy almost looked offended. "Of course I watch it! Including the original and the reboot, _and_ I read the comics!"

The redhead shrugged, facing the display again. "I used to watch the original all the time when I was younger—uh, the reruns. They were so popular in the day. I even have a few of the first edition figurines."

"The first lineups?! Like Robo-kun and Cyborg-san?!" Killua exclaimed, jumping in his spot in excitement as she nodded slowly. "Those are like _impossible_ to get your hands on! I reckon you have to be about 80 years old to even _see_ one."

Kikuko laughed nervously. "Well, I stole them off an old man." She brushed it off quickly. "Anyway, I had no idea that the show was still big nowadays."

"You must be living under a rock! I watched all six seasons, and I got the character cards. The silver deck was pretty popular a few years back, but the platinum deck is personally my favorite. It's so underrated because it's so rare. I had to buy so much chocolate just to get the complete set—"

Killua stopped himself short, finally noticing the gleam in Kikuko's jade eyes and the tug in the corners of her lips that registered amusement. His face warmed at the realization that he had just _completely_ geeked out on her. Quickly glancing away to mask his embarrassment, he muttered a small, "I-It's just a cool show is what I meant."

Kikuko was terrible at hiding that smile, but she grabbed his wrist and pulled him inside. "Right, well, we better buy some before they sell out, right?"

Killua quickly yanked his hand away, scratching the back of his head furiously. "Stop doing that."

"I'm not doing anything," Kikuko laughed as she picked up a box of the new set. The aisle was bustling with ten-year-olds and parents scrambling after them, so the duo looked quite out of place. That didn't seem to faze her in the least though. "If you don't want to get one for yourself, then you might as well buy one for me, Mr. Edgy!"

Feeling his ears pricking with warmth, Killua scowled, grabbing a box for himself. Even if she was going to tease her relentlessly for the next few weeks, he sure as hell wasn't about to give up his chance to get the new lineups. Kikuko smiled victoriously, bumping his shoulder. "Attaboy! Embrace your inner-dork!"

He swatted her arm away. "I'm not a dork!" Then swiftly swiping the box out of her arms, he growled, "I'll pay, but you better shut up about it!"

"Okay, Robo-kun."

"I said shut up, baka!"

* * *

  
I've recently started liking classical piano music and backtrack music because it feels so soothing yet dramatic. So I chose some songs to be some characters' theme songs. Go ahead and have a listen!

**Kikuko -[Dearly Beloved by TPR](https://open.spotify.com/track/29NWy93nBdlRhujy6A5g90?si=Axh0AjgMTwSCUyJyJ8IjYg)  
**   
**Killua -[The Name of Life by Joe Hisaishi](https://open.spotify.com/track/0LYBAjMhi45BgdDFhMeNd7?si=fJ1GD-ceQGyvB3AjmK5f7Q)**

******Gon -[Forest Gump Suite by Frozen Silence](https://open.spotify.com/track/6BDLAHBF4SW0udY9iiltoB?si=XGs6xWVNT_Ku5aOuMD00Tg)  
**  
 **Joji -[Clair de Lune, L. 32 by Claude Debussy](https://open.spotify.com/track/5u5aVJKjSMJr4zesMPz7bL?si=RkHjaL8NQFCUiEjdAD357Q)  
**  
 **Aimi -[The Beach by Alexandre Desplat](https://open.spotify.com/track/4ZdnjcqwFM6fSQCVAxFV3N?si=_R8Je4uLRYidAXXoRWM3sQ)**


	10. 09

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: the following has abusive and gruesome themes. 

Kikuko didn't remember much about her first soulmate. She could hardly tell you what his name was because, in truth, she hadn't bothered to learn it. He was the most generic, insignificant boy you could ever imagine. His face was far too plain to distinguish or single out in a crowd because he was just _that bland_. Unfortunately for him, that made him the perfect person to kill and nobody would even bat an eye. 

It was her third year in grade five, 9:05 am, April 27th, springtime, when she made striking eye contact with the seemingly dull brunette with short hair and thick eyebrows. Kikuko thought nothing of it, so by the time she had gotten home, she had already forgotten about the incident. Weeks had gone by before her mother broke into effervescent laughter, shaking the girl like she had gone insane. 

"Kikuko," her beautiful mother had gushed, cupping her cheeks. "You look _old_."

Typically, hearing that phrase didn't strike as a compliment, but for people destined to have soulmates, it was generally regarded as good news. Kikuko didn't know what to think, though. Why should she? She was only ten years old and barely able to muster the attention to listen in class even though she had gone through those lessons countless times before. But her mind flooded with questions anyway. 

Who was it? How was she supposed to find out? Where had she met her soulmate? Since when did she start aging again? She should've been elated. Excited. Anything that would come to mind when someone said you had seen your one true love. But Kikuko hardly smiled the next day at school through her exhausting late-night thoughts. She hadn't even formally met the boy, but she was already growing vexed with his existence. If this mystery boy was her soulmate, how come there was no fairytale acquaintance like the ones she had read with her mother countless nights? It felt like some cheap scam. 

It was about half-past noon when a stubby boy with thick eyebrows had approached her below the sakura. Her friends had been snickering audibly, running away at the sight of the modest boy shuffling in his feet awkwardly. With Kikuko's penetrating glare, heaven knows how nervous the brunette was. 

"H-Hino-san!" —it was her respectable surname— "I have reason to believe you are my soulmate!"

Kikuko could barely remember what led to the events after because all she could register was a small 'oh' and miraculously, he had scooped a chance to walk her home from school. The day had been incredibly nice with the sun out and the breeze flowing through the trees—a perfect day if it weren't for the horrendous appearance of her new soulmate. The boy had done most of the talking, ranging from how his mother packed his lunch to how difficult it was to memorize his Japanese characters to how his mother taught him every night so he could do better at school. 

"My mother said that when you make eye contact with your soulmate for the first time, you feel a special spark in your chest. That's why, Hino-san—uh, Kikuko-san—is it all right if I call you that?"

The redhead barely nodded before he continued with his conspiracy of how they were meant to be. Kikuko didn't like him. He was obnoxious and talked about his mother too often. She wondered if her mother also felt like this when she first met her dad, though, looking at them, they seemed to be the happiest, most beautiful couple in the world. As they walked to her home, Kikuko wondered if a life like that could ever be possible for her. 

What a lie it had all been. 

After another painstaking few minutes with the boy, they had taken a stop at her residence. Again, the boy shuffled awkwardly in his spot as if he were waiting for her to unleash her wrath.

"What do you want?" 

The brunette's eyes widened as he fiddled with his lunchbox. "Mother said something about soulmates being affectionate. She said I should be a gentleman all the time."

Kikuko sighed, glancing to her side. "Mother and Father probably won't want someone coming over on such short notice. You can visit another time." As she turned to leave, the boy called her again, which didn't fail to test her patience. She shifted her weight, glaring back at him. 

Eyes tightly shut, the brunette placed a quick kiss on her cheek and dashed down the street like he just took part in an armed robbery without a second glance back. Although Kikuko heard that it was customary to be bashful and shy in nature to such intimate things in that era, she couldn't help but feel disgusted. With cheeks aflame, she wiped her sleeve where his lips had just been and walked back into her home. 

The day had already been terrible, but nothing could have prepared her for what she saw in her house on that fateful afternoon. The night she had witnessed death. The night she realized the perfect life for kindred spirits was impossible.

_I could never forget the stain of blood on the floorboards or the dull look in those eyes that used to cherish me since the moment I entered this life. Yet, I could never remember that smile._

Killua stared in disbelief at Kikuko as she managed to stack a fifteenth sugar cube on her tower of blocks. With her tongue sticking out in concentration and her brows furrowed with precision, she lifted another cube to the top. However, her tower of sugar was short-lived as it tumbled down into pieces, sliding against the table like shattered glass shards. 

"Damnit!" Kikuko cursed, pounding her fists against the table despite the weird looks the random loungers gave her. 

Killua snickered, finally breaking away from his silence that he managed to maintain during that indescribably ridiculous ten minutes. He jabbed the girl straight in the forehead with his fingers. "Baka, you really think you could do that?"

"Shut up!" Kikuko growled, swatting his arm away. She began working on her architectural monstrosity yet again. "I was so close! You were distracting!"

"What do you mean?! I was silent the whole time!"

"You were breathing, asshole!"

There were bound to be quite a few onlookers, but at that point, Killua had already given up trying to convince them they were normal. He found that he would see much more satisfaction in irritating Kikuko. 

It was another day at Swardani with just the two of them. Since Gon's 'bonding day' with his dad, which turned out to span for longer than a week, Kikuko and Killua had already grown accustomed to the new routine. With Gon currently off the grid on some bizarre adventure god-knows-where, the two had managed to not murder each other every ten minutes and actually cooperated on some occasions. As astounding as it may be, Killua almost could see himself growing an unlikely friendship with her. Not that he _actually_ enjoyed her presence. Definitely not. If anything, he had only learned to grow more tolerable of her rash behavior. 12-year-old him wouldn't have hesitated to kill her. 

"Watch me. I'll make it up to thirty this time," Kikuko proclaimed.

"Sure. If you fail, you pay for meals for the next week."

As she placed her fifth cube on top, she glanced at him. "Why do you make it sound like this'll continue—" She stopped, looking past him to the clearing in the hotel lobby. "Gon?"

Killua followed her gaze and at the end, there Gon stood with that cheery smile he knew all too well. A grin stretched across his lips as he charged forward through the breakfast center. They met in the center at a halt trying to diffuse their excitement.

"Where have you been?" Killua exclaimed. His friend scratched the back of his neck with a bashful expression. 

"You can't really plan adventures with Ging. We sort of went on a full journey—"

"I swear, so much tension in that run but you guys don't even hug?" Kikuko cut in as she finally caught up with them. "You could've at least high-fived and save us from the anti-climactic drag."

Gon just smiled, hooking them both in for a group hug. "We're all together so now it's proper." While his companions tried their best to hide their own reactions, he laughed, dragging them back to their seats. As he sat in the empty chair, he viewed the crumbling bits of sugar spread across the table. "What did you guys do while I was gone?"

The aforementioned two gave sparing side-glances before shrugging. "Not much."

"Anyways," Killua hopped in, leaning over the table. "What did you and your old man do this time? I'm sure you've got amazing stories!"

Gon smiled, but Killua couldn't help but notice something was incredibly off. Strain? No. Confliction? Maybe. 

"It's a really long story. I can tell you another time. I'm just really hungry right now." Gon brushed off the topic like it was nothing. His friend stared at him, reading the lines in his pursed lips and the way his eyes trailed to the other side of the room. Gon never held anything from him before. Through the years they had been together, Gon had been the most honest one of the duo. He could trust Gon with anything. _Everything_. What could he be hiding that was worth keeping from his best friend? A pang of hurt surged to his chest, but Killua ignored it. 

Seemingly oblivious (or just careless, for that matter) of Gon's behavior, Kikuko slid over the pitcher of orange juice. "All right, sure. But after breakfast, let's get a move on. I'm already sick of this city."

_Change. I had never been too fond of it. But just like how tides crash down on the shore or how the moon is bound to come out at night, you can never truly avoid it._

Her throat was hoarse and dry like she was forced to swallow burnt timbers in her sleep, to which she had no trouble imagining. Despite the incessant agony scorching her, Kikuko screamed as loud as her lungs could manage. Tears drenched her fingers stained with grime and sweat. Her sprained ankle shivered vigorously against her shackles, chafing the layers of her skin to reveal the disgusting crimson that every human hid. 

She closed her eyes. She didn't want to look down because if she did, all she would see was the dried pool of blood staining the oak floors, and if she looked up, she would have to see the rotting legs hanging beside her. So, curling into a ball soaked in her miserable tears, sweat, and blood, Kikuko shut her eyes, wishing for the nightmare to go away. But this wasn't a nightmare. This was real. This was really happening. 

At the sound of wood creaking down the corridor, Kikuko jolted from her spot, eyes darting from corner to corner. Her gaze trained on the floor at the arrival of the gruff shadow. Trying her best to stifle the shakiness in her breath, she stared at his shoes, waiting for his next order.

"Look up."

She didn't.

He grabbed her by the back of her locks, forcing her to gaze upward at the corpse haunting her from above. The stench had already invaded the house, but Kikuko had already grown nose blind to the smell of death. She tried not to make a whimper or a cry, forcing herself to unfocus her vision, but her sight was already impaired and dizzy from being starved that week. 

"Still have some fight, huh?" he tested, releasing her coral hair from his grip. "That's how I know you're my daughter."

Kikuko whipped her head up, staring at him with a look of surprise. "F-Father . . . am I—could I . . . ?"

He looked down at her with a hard glare. Those were the same eyes that raised her from the ground and smiled like she were an angel from above. Those were the same eyes that held mischief whenever he had prepared her a gift. And now they had been overcome with ones that ruthlessly drew lines of red across the throat of his beloved. No, they had been _revealed_. Had she simply been so blind to not have noticed this? Had she never realized that her own father was a cold-blooded killer? But this wasn't her father. He wasn't the same. She could never call him that ever again. Not this man. Not this monster.

He grunted. "Time for your marks."

Kikuko hardly remembered what happened that night. She faintly remembered the feeling of him dragging her by her locks across the house floor into the furnace room. And when he branded her face, she was certain everyone within two kilometers of her house could hear her screams. Whether her neighbors knew or were completely oblivious of the torture going on in the Hino Residence, Kikuko didn't know, nor did it matter because nobody came. Nobody saved her. And eventually, she began to slip.

_And with those days of happiness and childish dreams, my grip on humanity was ripped from my arms. There was no one to trust, no one to run to, no one to care for but myself. Change. I wouldn't wish it on anyone but that monster._

"Azia? Why do you think he's gone so far?"

Gon shrugged, not really knowing the answer himself. "From what Ging told me, he's most likely in the eastern hemisphere, and I know not to doubt his tracking skills." That was about half of what he told him at least, but he didn't elaborate. "Let's just get a ride to there as soon as possible. Kurapika's probably on the move right now."

The trio was standing in queue for bag checkups in the airport. After packing their belongings and saying bye to some fellow friends, they had already hopped on the road to get the hell out of the suffocating metropolis. 

“Just how many places is this guy going?” whined Kikuko as she slumped to the floor. 

“Oi, get up! The line’s moving,” chastised Killua as he pulled the back of her collar jacket. The two went a round of bickering as per usual, though, for some reason in Gon’s perspective, the level of venom had decreased a significant amount. His heart mellowed at the sight of his two friends finally forming something that didn’t pertain to bloody knuckles and snide insults. 

His smile faltered as his thoughts fell back to his conversation with Ging. Hearing his words, it was only natural that someone would have ambivalent thoughts, especially considering Kikuko was his friend. There wasn’t really much about her that warranted so much caution, other than the fact that she had a crazy sense of bloodlust, but she generally was a good friend. 

Watching how his friends were finally getting on good terms, it felt like he was barging in on something that had so much potential if he were to relay his father's exact words. He stared at Kikuko.

22 years . . .

The redhead arched a brow as she flashed a bright grin, making even those brand marks below her eyes seem radiant. "What?"

Gon smiled in return. Surely it was just a coincidence.

_If I had known that the path I was going down would end up just like his, maybe I would've stopped. But ultimately, you can't kill a monster without becoming one yourself._

She couldn't see past the bandages over her eyes. It had been about a month since her captivity, three weeks since her face was burned. But since then, the pain had grown more tolerable and the hunger in her died. Hearing the limp corpse dangling in the middle of the living room almost became comforting. She was still there with her. She still hadn't left. 

Kikuko nearly dropped the blade at the touch of the cold edge. Her breath hitched as she grazed her thumb along the tip. Why was he giving her a dagger? Had she grown his trust? Did she do something that provoked him to give his ten-year-old child a weapon? 

"W-What do you want me to do?"

A callused palm ruffled her hair, almost in a paternal way. "You're last trial." She heard his buff body kneel beside her, his heavy breath holding such malice that she wondered what could she have missed that caused her father to be in such anguish all the time. "Do you know what happens when a kindred spirit dies before their time?"

Kikuko paused. "Their lover dies as well?" She heard a grunt as if expressing disapproval, which didn't fail to arouse palpitation in her chest from fear. She quickly fixed herself. "Or they live on?"

"Precisely. And twin flames can only burn bright when there is another to tend to them. When one dies, the other must wait for their smolders to ignite again."

The blade in her hands suddenly felt heavier. "They live on . . . "

"And with it, power. Immortality. Indescribable strength."

Kikuko's throat felt dry. Power over love. Immortality over comfort. It seemed horrific like something only rakes would bother doing because they were always so depressed. But here she was, holding a dagger with a burnt face and her mother hanging from the ceiling. Her life couldn't be too far off from theirs.

"You know what to do."

She couldn't even stop to question herself because she was already consumed with the task. Following orders, crumpling at his words, it had grown to be second nature. When she crept through the boys window, she could faintly hear his snores. The chilly breeze whistling past the curtains and the timid hoot of the owls indicated midnight. As she loomed over the brunette's bedside, she pondered if he would have known he would never open his eyes the next morning. 

"K-Kikuko-san?"

Her back went icy cold, but through the adrenaline, she managed a smile. "Hello. How are you?"

"W-What are you doing here?! Everyone's been worried. I . . . I've been worried. You've been gone for a month."

The thought of how completely oblivious the boy was irritated her. Here he was sleeping peacefully in his residence completely unaware that such demented things were ongoing. And he had the gall to say he was _worried_.

"How did you g-get in here? Where have you been? What happened to your face?"

"Tsk, I'm surprised you're taking in the situation so well," she muttered truthfully. Honesty was the least she could offer to him in his last moments. A small, light laugh left her lips at the comical scene. There was no laugh to reciprocate. 

"Kikuko-san . . . " The redhead's voice was caught in her throat at the feeling of fingers against her cheeks. Tears. She had been crying through her bandages. The boy wiped one dry. "What happened?"

A cyclone of emotions spun through her in a matter of seconds. Her jaw clenched, her brow furrowed, and before the boy could so much as scream, she stuck the dagger straight through his throat. 

At first, she's utterly horrified, but as the owls screeched and the sound of his body fell limp across the mattress, an eerie smile curls her lips. Shoving his corpse off the bed, she spread her limbs across the sheets and let the voices of the night speak to her. The universe sounded . . . angry. And from that point on, Kikuko had plunged herself into a feud of no return.

_In the end, I'm just like him: disdainful, ruthless, and selfish. But through the lives of everyone I reap, the warmth of their blood keeps away the cold._

_At least for now._


End file.
